Define Awesome

Are you a cultural archetype? Having 100 cats is desirable. Cats are mysterious furry creatures, and only the most devilish of women or men can remember all of their cat’s names. Playing yarm games with your cats may take up most of your time on a daily basis, this...

LOOK AT YOU ONLY USING ONE SCREEN LIKE A CHUMP. “Oh, bro, you don’t get it, dude, I’m on my laptop bro, it’s only got one screen man.” GROW-UP, SON. IT’S TIME TO GROW UP. Look, we get it. You went to your corner computer shop, got your cute...

Hello, my name is Chuck Norris, and I’m here to tell you about this fancy little book a good friend of mine named Ian Spector wrote called: “The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 Facts About the World’s Greatest Human.” Now the first question you might be asking is, “Hey,...

The sheer amount of high-five’s I now receive on almost an hourly basis is indubitably due to the style of my hair, the cool wolf I have, and owning a toilet paper blaster. -Kit Harington

Dog lovers will do anything to make their pet’s lives more enjoyable. And for good reason. Dogs are arguably the only pure things left in the world, so we need to help them at all costs. A two-for-one benefit, this dog car seat cover protects your upholstery and your...

It goes without saying that there are numerous benefits to being passive-aggressive in your dealings with other people (also known as “simpletons”). The issue with simpletons is that they are far, far inferior to the brilliance that people like you bring to this planet. You’re a genius. You’re thoughtful,...

The Epic Fail Button – With An Epic Failure Trombone Sound (incase hearing someone say epic fail wasn’t enough) How often do you think to yourself in your head “well that was a fail?” Now you can actually show your disdain for the situation and make everyone else in...

Oh, Look Who It Is: Johnny Money Bags! Look at Johnny, walking around like some sort of financial wizard with those money bags. You think there’s no end to the riches you can amass, right?  The whole world is your oyster. And it’s a damn tasty oyster. Filled with...

Up Your Detective Game with this Lie Detector Finally, you can get access to a genuine lie detector and take your unlicensed investigation business to the next level! Those idiots at the police academy have no idea what they are talking about. “Unstable state of mind, potential sociopathic tendencies,...

Your digital footprint is an absolute horror show. We know it, you know it, and the world at large could know it if you’re not careful...

“Oh, Mimi – could you fetch me another hors devours please?” “Ah, yes, Furball, I fancy a dessert to satisfy my naughty sweet tooth, my dear!” That could be you. That could be you speaking to your pets as you finally come to the realization that not only can...

Just imagine the amount of right swipes you’d get if you were single and you had the snack hat in your profile picture…

Sure, you know your three-month-old is a gentleman and a scholar, but does he look the part? Nothing degrades an academic’s sterling reputation faster than a full-diaper, spit-up stained onesie, and inability to grow facial hair. Fortunately, there’s a simple way to cover up your baby’s faults and transform them into the Rhodes...

What if you had a BS detector… What would you do with it? Where would you take it? The official BS Auto-Detection Button with A.I. capabilities listens to your voice, analyzes changes in tone, measures the level of humidity in the air to sense when you’re sweating (aka lying)...

In the Autumn of 1916, a man named Barnaby J. Minkles stumbled upon a prank so lively, so wonderful and so outrageous, he was regarded as one of the foremost prank masters of the twentieth century. Minkles worked long hours on the assembly line as a linesman for the...

Roll up to the party like, “ANYONE WANT A TASTE OF MY BACON SODA?” Utter such a phrase and the party guests will immediately turn into putty in your fingers. Mold them, dear friend. Mold them to love you. To appreciate you. To turn the party into the most...

What Do You Do With Complaints? As the wise and wonderfully talented LL Cool J once remarked in the 1992 hit song “Mama Said Knock You Out,”: “Explosions are overpowering, and over the competition, I’m towering.” Imagine that — what a line. And you could live that life every...

The most successful human being that ever lived mastered two things: dreams and emotions. Who was this person of mystery? Her name was Alicia. Alicia lived in a little place you’ve probably never heard of before called New York City, New York (in the United States of America, which...

What would you do with fake wall outlet stickers? Maybe you’re the life of the party. You’re the person who everybody turns to for a good laugh. “You’re such a card!” they say. “You always make me laugh!” they remark. But what happens when you don’t have a crowd...

The Cell Phone Jail: The world’s smallest jail cell for your overzealous cell phone usage is not quite what it seems. Imagine the jungles of Africa, 1981. Hot, dry, unexplored. American traveler Saxon Bingham enters the jungle alone. He discovers a tiny jail cell, empty in the middle of...

At some point over the last decade, toilet timers have revealed that our time in the bathroom has increased exponentially. What are we doing there? Showering more effectively? Shaving more intensely? Taking our dental care game to the next level? Doubt it. We’re sitting on the toilet staring at...

Have you ever tried to shrink an over-sized garment in the dryer and it came out looking like a sweater for a chihuahua? Or perhaps a favorite sweater ended up in there by mistake? We all mess up the wash every so often.  Or every day, but no judgment!...

Watch Your Worries go up in Smoke Need a new stash of rolling papers? Grab these money rolling papers the next time you want to impress your friends and smoke your financial worries away. Nothing says “I’m broke and my own worst enemy” like burning Benjamins you could be...

Rainbow Unicorn Head is the only way to enter a party, everything else you heard about being fashionably late or how cool it is to not dress in theme, is dead wrong. The Rainbow Unicorn Head says; “I am here to party, dance, and mess the party up! Not...

“Show me a person who does not like potato chips, and I will show you a loser.” – Former President Grover Cleveland OK – so there’s no actual, physical or verbal proof that the former President of the United States actually uttered those words. But can you imagine if...