Define Awesome

The unscented middle finger candle allows you to flip the bird with grace and assertiveness. A great centerpiece to have at home to burn for fun at your friend!

Since you can’t physically consume fried chicken in your sleep (we’ve field tested several times, no luck), we found the next best thing: a fried chicken pillow

“Crazy James the Screamin’ Goat” is what his family, friends, neighbors and every farmer east of the Mississippi call him. What they don’t know is the real reason he screams…

Whoever told you money doesn’t grow on trees is wrong. Money does grow on trees. In fact, it’s now easy to grow money wherever you want with the money printer!

The NERD SQUAD has officially blown open its doors and is welcoming new members who can fall in line with what it means to be the nerdiest of nerds. Fortunately, if you’re not quite prepared to join the NERD SQUAD, this all in one NERD KIT is going to get you almost all the way to the finish line.

Make your dog feel like Superman with this dog outfit perfect for your little superhero. Available in multiple sizes, all with the same outcome: awesomeness.

Simply put your pet’s paw on the crystal ball and the powers within will illuminate the orb to show you a lifelike, 3D picture of what your animal is thinking. We’ll be honest…it’s not always pretty.

Thankfully the universe has heard our plea, and now, we can all live life fully. Fully charged, just like BB8 droid should be, he can follow you around & listen

Introducing the most epic product of all time: a real lightsaber. Pick your jaw up off the ground. We know. We know. It’s out of control awesome.

If you want to feel like you’re drunk without having to drink a 12 pack of cheap beer, three shots of cinnamon whiskey and a test tube of something green that was sold to you on a platter by a girl in a cutoff t-shirt who claimed her name was “Foxy,” then; These drunk goggles […]

This kit has everything you need to pull pranks, survive in the wilderness & more. Fuel can, matches, logs, fire pit. You’ll have it made. With a kit like this, you’ll have no problems with your first fire.

3D murals are the straw that stirs the drink of life. Do you want to make a drink, or do you want to sit there like some one dimensional lump of a human being?

What’s the story behind the temporary tattoo printer anyways? Well, it all started like this… Date: Sunday, April 19th  Time: 3:13am Place: Carl’s Ink & Stink The customer walked through the door smelling of a mix of under carbonated light beer and dollar store cigarettes. They remarked “YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE, AND ME WANTS A […]

WHAT?! ARE YOU STILL TOUCHING STUFF WITHOUT FINGER COVERS LIKE SOME TWO BIT JABRONI FROM PLANET “I’M INSANE-A-TOPIA?!” You must be out of your barely functioning, rummage sale quality brain if you think touching door handles, ATM buttons or pretty much everything on planet Earth that isn’t the underbelly of a newborn kitten is safe. […]

What’s a Handy Hand, you ask? Oh buddy do you have a lot to discover. Imagine a hand, that’s like yours, but, it’s not – it’s a helping extension that does all

Have you been wondering if there’s a toy that will keep your dog busy all day? Well, it’s here: The iDig dog digging toy – you have to see it to believe it…

Say goodbye to costly toilet paper…forever! Did you know that the average human being spends 97.3%* of their life on the toilet? Most people have dozens of ledgers, quill pen and ink well within inches of their throne. As the epicenter of home entertainment, the toilet is a very important place. Here are just a […]

You pull. And rip. And tear. AND NOTHING HAPPENS. Not great. For YOU have been victim to one of the greatest pranks ever to have been bestowed upon the crap shack: No-Tear Toilet Paper

Your pets new favorite pastime. This unique contraption works for both dogs and cats, and, they love it! It’s kinda like giving kids an iPad… great to free up your time

Have you ever wondered how to appropriately pay someone back for something they’ve given you or something they’ve done for you?

If you’ve ever said to yourself, “You know, I’d like to own an alien one day,” you are about to hit the jackpot: Baby Yoda We proudly introduce you to an alien. We’re not quite sure who he is, or much about his background, so we’re going to speculate here: This little green alien, while […]

At some point over the last decade, toilet timers have revealed that our time in the bathroom has increased exponentially. What are we doing there? Showering more effectively? Shaving more intensely? Taking our dental care game to the next level? Doubt it. We’re sitting on the toilet staring at a tiny little screen like the […]

Your digital footprint is an absolute horror show. We know it, you know it, and the world at large could know it if you’re not careful…

With the technological advances of the last decade apparent, it has always stunned the universe that there was not an easier way to access the simple pleasures of WiFi. A brief look back at the incredible break-throughs shows a fantastic trajectory of monumental progress: 2011 – Albert Snoot introduces drinkable gasoline 2012 – Derek Jeter […]

You love your partner. You love your friends. You love animals, nature, the ocean. You even love the sun, the moon, the stars. It’s so hard to love everything so much, isn’t it? It would bring a damn tear to the eye of a grizzled Viking warrior if they ever saw how much you truly […]