Define Awesome

Ohhhh – look how cute that little goat stuffed animal is!!! You’ve Got to Buy The Screaming Goat Stuffed Animal. Ah, the Screaming Goat Stuffed Animal – because nothing says “I’ve got my life together” quite like a plush toy that emits goat shrieks at the press of a button. Perfect for shattering peaceful moments, […]

Ever wondered what your furry friend is thinking? Well, wonder no more! Introducing: The Dog Talking Buttons The revolutionary way to literally give your pets a voice. Because let’s face it, interpreting those barks and meows can be as confusing as trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube in the dark. Plus, pets are part of […]

Once upon a time, in the leafy green heart of Crunchland, lived a whimsical cereal-loving wizard named Broccolius. Broccolius was no ordinary wizard; he was a guardian of greens, a vanquisher of vegetable vagrancy, and a hero of healthy habits. His heart throbbed with a desire to rid the world of its unhealthy cravings. He […]

Once upon a time, in a quaint little town, there lived a genius inventor named Wilbur Doo. Wilbur was an eccentric but charming man with a heart full of love for dogs. However, there was one thing he absolutely despised – having to carry around his beloved pooch’s poop during their daily walks. This, he […]

Once upon a tumbleweed-riddled time, in the dustiest corner of the Wild West, lived a man named Sheriff Turly. Now, Sheriff Turly was as zany as a jackrabbit with a caffeine overdose, and he had a wild idea that would change the course of history forever: the legendary Cargo Socks! You might be wondering, what […]

Welcome to Laughsalot Land. Ridiculous name – and home of an even more ridiculous fellow: Sylvester Dermp. Now, Sylvester wasn’t your average Joe. We’ve already his established his name is Sylvester. But in addition to that, he had a wild sense of humor that could rival a circus clown on April Fools Day. He was […]

Tired of not being able to control the actions of everyone in your life? Well, the game is about to change, my friend! Introducing: The Motion Activated Voice Recorder Audio Player This is a device that’s sure to add a sprinkle of mischief and a hearty dose of hilarity to your life. This little gem […]

Oh, look who it is! Mr. “I’m too good to practice mini-golfing while I’m on the highway during rush hour traffic.” Mr. “I can’t be bothered figuring out how to get better at mini-golf in aisle three of the grocery store on a Sunday morning after church.” Mr. “I would never be seen trying to […]

Ohhhh – look who it is. A fancy pants internet surfer who just beached themselves on the shore of the Sarcasm Dictionary. Good for you. It must take a lot of brains to get lost on an awesome website only to find the greatest book in history. Sorry to waste your time with all this […]

My name is Cornelius J. Feline and I have a tale I’d like to tell you about what it’s like being a cat. That’s right – I’m a cat. A cat who has always wanted more out of life. You may wonder why cats are precocious. Suspicious. Skeptical and downright anti-social at times.The answer to […]

Remember the days of just sitting on a screen, endlessly browsing content that you didn’t create until your thumb was sunburned from so much screen light? NO MORE! Make the decision to get off your duff, your bum, your backside or your rear. Whatever you call it. Dodgeball Tag is the answer you’ve been looking […]

Time to take aim at your caffeine intake, buckaroo. We see you sitting there. Lifeless. Listless. Bored. So empty. No energy, no reason to even move your body. Ugh.  The good news is, this bad attitude of yours is fixable. This energy depletion is fillable. The time is now! Black Rifle Coffee drops will fill […]

Sir Edward Toot’s lasting mark, or shall we say, sound on the human race is this wonderful fart button sound generator. A button that makes over 20 absolutely ridiculous, hilarious and much needed farting sounds. Before we proceed, let’s make sure you’re ready for this fart button. Who is it right for? Absolutely everyone – […]

Are you an avid golfer who likes to cause a little mischief and mayhem? Need a good golf prank? We’ve got your ace in the hole, baby! Introducing: the exploding golf ball Now is the time to seek sweet, sweet revenge on that buddy of yours who thinks he’s king of the course because he’s […]

The bubble gun blaster of your dreams has arrived, and this thing is a beauty. This bad boy is blasting out 2,000 bubbles per minute. PER MINUTE. So hold on to your wig, because this thing is going to blow your mind.

Looking for a way to freak out your friends and family? Look no further than BLK water – the goth kid of the beverage world. With its ominous black color, you’ll be sure to turn heads and make everyone wonder if you’re secretly a vampire. But don’t worry, there’s no need to fear the sun […]

Marvinious Ketchup Jr. was exceptionally proud of his tomato farm. In fact, he was so proud of his tomatoes, that he used them for everything. Yes, literally everything. Breakfast was a tomato sandwich. Two pieces of tomato with a tomato in the middle and some ketchup for dipping on the side. For lunch he’d have […]

Hear ye, hear ye! Gather round men, women and children of all ages! We are proud to introduce the spikiest, greenest, meanest, water dwelling lizard this side of the Mississippi! Forget about your run of the mill cayman. Toss aside your preconceived notions about the dear old crocodile. We are here to bring you the […]

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, people of all ages! May we introduce you to…the future! A future that is bright, bold, beautiful – and stunningly within reach today! My name is Buster C. Lightbulb and I am here to introduce you to a product that will change your life. The Color Changing Light Panels, […]

Historically, there has always been major problems with flip-flops. They either flip or they flop. Here’s what is the worst about that: both words are terrible. No one uses “flip-flop” as a superlative. It’s not a good thing. No one is ever like, “Hey, man – good work out there today, you were really flip-flopping […]

Deep in the woods of one of the planet’s most difficult to traverse landscapes lay a battle fortress unlike anything you have ever seen. It’s big. It’s bold. It houses the fiercest warriors that have ever lived. That’s right: ever. Warriors from the Egyptian kingdom. Warriors from the 1800s. Warriors who once lived in Brooklyn […]

One of the most beautiful creatures in nature is the bird. Many have called birds the most majestic things that have ever existed. They fly high, they have purpose and they are all unique. But don’t let us tell you how amazing they are, enjoy just a few quotes about birds from eloquent individuals throughout […]

Ever heard of vitamin patches for energy? Well, buckle up and hold on tight because there’s about to be an energy blast through your body that will make anything possible. Yes, literally anything. Too tired to be a good parent?  Stick on a B12 Energy Patch and you’ll be the winner for “Parent of the […]

Have you ever sat on the toilet and thought to yourself…“Whilst I am currently enjoying myself and this wonderful seat, I certainly wouldn’t mind some thunderous theme music to accompany my wonderful achievement of the moment!” Well, you aren’t alone. Because we most definitely have also. Welcome the amazing, incredible, unbelievable musical machine of your […]

Dude – Jacques Cousteau would be rolling over in his coral reef condo right now if he knew about this SMACO Scuba Tank. Remember back in the day when you used to have to wheel a thousand pound oxygen chamber made of solid bronze to be able to enjoy the wonders of your neighborhood pond? […]