Define Awesome

Remember when mall cops on electric scooters became a thing? Its like why walk when you can scooter? Well, get this! There is now a sea scooter, so why swim if you can scooter? As long as perusing the seas is not a full-time job, then we promise you...
coffee mug
How do you communicate to your boss and fellow employees that you really shouldn’t be given any extra responsibility? With the World’s Okayest Employee Coffee Mug, that’s how! You’ve tried everything else to cultivate an air of mediocrity such as: Waltzing on into work late every other day. Doing...
$12.99
Imagine This… It’s 7PM on a Friday and several co-workers are coming over for a dinner party at your place.  Can you cook? No. But that’s not stopping you. Why? Because you see the value of networking. Everything is perfect.  You’ve got the grill going, all the patio furniture...
$9.48
skull head log on fire
Do you feel like your friends aren’t sure how committed you are to the death metal? Are you afraid people think you are joking when you mention human sacrifice? Do you wish your neighbors knew just how much you don’t want them near your backyard fire extravaganza slash piercing...
$49.95
It is time to become Katy Perry in your new cloud-pool water floaty. How will you accessorize while floating in a cloud over the water at Miami Beach? Maybe a purple wig is in order, and don’t forget about the ice cream cone boobs. Women and men from all...
$42.99
Kids love to climb all over sore backs, but with this travel gear carrying around your baby is effortless. Are you a traveling parent? This piggyback rider is a must have to add to your backpacking gear collection. Become the next internet sensation with your cutie riding on your...
Your robotic lawn mower’s name is ROB; he is the perfect addition to your home and garden power tool needs. ROB likes to cut your grass by himself; no human interaction is needed. Humans are no longer required. ROB will take over; his sharp blades have a fetish for...
$1300
Become a real pokemon player by keeping your live collectibles at your side! Is your cat your spirit animal? Your spirit animal is a part of you, so keep it by you at all times with this portable pet carrier. You never know when you will need to pull...
funny poop emoji shaped cake
Getting angry is easy, but getting even is fun! Your ex may have broken up with you on your birthday (say WHAT), and we all know it is because they did not want to buy you a gift (are you KIDDING ME). Tell them how you really feel by...
$5.29
Lord of the Rings Lego Set
Lego Fantasy This official ‘The Lord of the Rings: Battle of Helm’s Deep Lego Set’ is the perfect gift for your son or daughter’s birthday this year. Get them excited about The Lord of the Rings with this excellent collection from one of the most creative, educational toymakers out...
$254.98
two person double nester hammock
Float among the trees in this double nester hammock. We understand the desire to reconnect with nature. The earth is full of electric charge that our bodies evolved alongside with since the caveman days. But sleeping like a caveman on the hard rocky ground with bugs swarming around you...
Are you a big sports fan? Then you are probably well aware of the saying “seeing double” after a good parking lot tale-gate. You have downed a sufficient amount of beer and are having a great time with your buddies, but all the sudden you realize your seats are...
$35.99
novelty finger hands gift
I Declare a Thumb War We all know the saying: never bring a thumb to a hand war. Now you can dominate every thumb war with your very own tiny hand vinyl finger puppets. No longer will you have to sit there in shame, staring at your ridiculous digits...
$5.99
A Regular Ballpoint Pen? That’s not Going to Cut it, My Friend. You are prepared for the zombie apocalypse, right? Right?? Of course, you are you forward-thinking genius. You are a tactical self-defense master. Your bunker is all stocked up; your go-bag is ready under your desk at work,...
$16.65
Oh, the Poetic Irony Lord have mercy on us all, what foul creature hath thou wrought? Now, for a low low price, you can own the soul of a former banker, forever imprisoned in this hellish piggy bank. Frozen, save for a mouth that can open just wide enough...
$14.99
Do you Have Zero Respect for Humanity? How do you tell the world that you don’t believe in any system of religious belief, while also letting it know that you have zero respect for the value of humanity? With our ‘Eat a Dick Coexist Parody Sticker’ of course, dummy....
$9.25
The Instant Path to Enlightenment To quote the infinitely wise and enlightened Hugh Jackman, “I love making a fool out of myself. I made my living as a clown at kids’ parties for about three years.” Classic Hugh, am I right? He also said, “Meditation is all about the...
$6.95
Up Your Detective Game with this Lie Detector Finally, you can get access to a genuine lie detector and take your unlicensed investigation business to the next level! Those idiots at the police academy have no idea what they are talking about. “Unstable state of mind, potential sociopathic tendencies,...
$19.99
personal-back-massage-machine
Give yourself a full body massage from the comfort of your own home. No more having to strip down in front of a fragile little massage woman to be greased up like a pig and pray she knows what she’s doing. This hook-shaped massager is designed to reach every...
$29.87
everyday etiquette how-to guide
Meet Dick. Dick is…well, he’s a d*ck. Ironically, there really isn’t a better way to describe Dick than to apply the phallic four-letter word his mama gave him at birth. Dick litters and spits. Dick posts naked photos of his exes on the Internet. Dick regularly cuts people off...
$13.91