Define Awesome

Mr. Zooka was the creator of one of the most ingenious contraptions ever made. The item he fashioned was able to take pure air, gather it all up into an invisible mass – and shoot that air back into the earth with a fantastic amount of energy behind it.
$19.50
alternative method for dog drying
Ever wanted your dog to look like they’re wearing an 80s nylon tracksuit? Been a massive Flo-Jo fan for years, but afraid you couldn’t rock her sweet style on your own? Or maybe you’re looking for another way to piss off your dog, knowing full well that the furry...
$49.95
Introducing: The 3d Edison LED Light Bulb Let’s go on a journey together, shall we? A cosmic journey, where space and time are insignificant. Where nothing matters other than your deepest, innermost desires. You close your eyes. The lights of your subconscious begin to twinkle. Your body becomes light...
$14.99
What if you had a BS detector… What would you do with it? Where would you take it? The official BS Auto-Detection Button with A.I. capabilities listens to your voice, analyzes changes in tone, measures the level of humidity in the air to sense when you’re sweating (aka lying)...
$7.99
coffee mug
How do you communicate to your boss and fellow employees that you really shouldn’t be given any extra responsibility? With the World’s Okayest Employee Coffee Mug, that’s how!   You’ve tried everything else to cultivate an air of mediocrity such as: Waltzing on into work late every other day....
$12.99
For The First Time Ever, You Can Stare at a screen longer without worrying about the blue light causing headaches! Remember the future of the past? People were all going to be interconnected with gadgets and computers and screens. Everything was going to be all sleek and, like, super...
$41.08
popping fun costume
Do you have a desire to pledge allegiance to the Zoltan? Have an obsession with popping bubble wrap? Or maybe you’ve always wanted to know what it feels like to be a fine china dish in the back of a moving truck? Enter: The Bubble Wrap Suit All of...
$24.95
cash money gun
The Rainmaker. The Awesome Cash Shooting, Gold Plated Electronic Gun. Let’s face it: you don’t get the respect you deserve. Sure, people think you’re super attractive, funny, powerful, charismatic and pretty much a flawless human being. You have a great smile, impeccable style and an air of confidence that...
$69.99
Uncle Harold – who is he? This gentleman is a tried and true pistachio connoisseur. And a prank master. The man himself has now released his masterpiece, and you have a very limited time to take advantage of this incredible opportunity. We proudly present to you: Uncle Harold’s Premium...
$12.99
It’s Time. Time To Be Cool. Time To Play Capture The Flag! The cool kids in every single 1980’s movie had a few things in common: Awesome hair. Each follicle probably drenched to the tippy top with Aqua Net hairspray. That was the coolest way to make your hair...
$53.91
The Epic Fail Button – With An Epic Failure Trombone Sound (incase hearing someone say epic fail wasn’t enough) How often do you think to yourself in your head “well that was a fail?” Now you can actually show your disdain for the situation and make everyone else in...
$14.99
hilarious card game
You probably think you’re the cock of the walk when you stroll into a party with your hilarious party games, don’t you? Well, bad news lil buck-a-roo: you have to kick it up a notch ASAP. We’re talking, taking it to the next level, where the next level is...
$33.47
While we’re on the subject of you, you’ve been a little passive aggressive lately, which is awesome, like me. Frankly, who doesn’t love passive-aggressive people? Life would be boring without you I guess. Don’t come right out and say what you’re feeling, EVER. Just dance around the topic like...
$5.50
Oh, Look Who It Is: Johnny Money Bags! https://youtu.be/gFqD_0IK-9A Look at you, walking around like you’re some sort of financial wizard with those money bags. You think there’s no end to the riches you can amass, right?  The whole world is your oyster. And it’s a damn tasty oyster....
$9.99
Oh, look who it is, Johnny Moneybags. Walking around town like he owns the damn place. Do you smell that? What is that odor? No, it’s not his armpits…. It’s the hot new cologne “Eau De New money.”  The stench is beautifully overwhelming. But, how did Johnny Moneybags get...
$4.99
the complaint grenade ensures no more complaints!
What Do You Do With Complaints? As the wise and wonderfully talented LL Cool J once remarked in the 1992 hit song “Mama Said Knock You Out,”: “Explosions are overpowering, and over the competition, I’m towering.” Imagine that — what a line. And you could live that life every...
$17.99
skull head log on fire
Do you feel like your friends aren’t sure how committed you are to the death metal? Are you afraid people think you are joking when you mention human sacrifice? Do you wish your neighbors knew just how much you don’t want them near your backyard fire extravaganza slash piercing...
$49.95
Calling all humans to reconnect with the Earth and plant flowers today! But don’t just plant any flower, plant the galaxy. These purple galaxy flowers will make everyone want to come over to your house and trip on hallucinogenic drugs. Plant! Before making plans to get delusional with your...
$7.89
best kitchen item
The Mr. Sneezy egg separator is what your awkward mornings have been looking for; a conversation piece. If you are waking up next to a stranger, an old mistake, or a shape you can’t quite make out, this egg separator is guaranteed to turn any pancake frown upside down....
$12.99