The Complaint Department Grenade Sign

What Do You Do With Complaints?

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As the wise and wonderfully talented LL Cool J once remarked in the 1992 hit song “Mama Said Knock You Out,”: “Explosions are overpowering, and over the competition, I’m towering.”

Imagine that — what a line. And you could live that life every single second of your life with this bomb a** Complaint Department sign.

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Frankly, you need it. I’m actually not sure how you’ve lived without it.

Look, we’re not here to tell you what you need in your life – but this is a different situation with this here item.

You absolutely must have it.

Just like every other item on defineawesome.com.

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Let’s be real.

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Why do you need a complaint department sign though?

Well, take a minute and ponder this…

All the nonsense you put up with daily.

You don’t need to hear it anymore, do you?

This is where the affirmation comes in, and you say it out loud.

“No!”

Here are just a few examples of the complaint ridiculousness you’re probably putting up with regularly:

Example #1:

So and so did something, somewhere at some point and somebody you know has an opinion about the wrong opinion since it’s not their opinion. Now they are going to waste half an hour talking words at you about it. Ugh. Nightmare.

Example #2

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Work people are going to be work people. Since you’re probably the type of person who is the solver of all problems, people love to come to you with problems. Especially when they’re the harder workers and smarter than everyone else. You’re there for them every time to tell them they’re right. You agree and validate for moral support.

Example #3

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Your family’s all like, “hey, this and that” and “dinner was lousy” and “what the what?” and “can you believe he or she or he-she did this?” Enough. They ’re lucky you even remembered they exist. They should be thankful.

Spoiled little bratwursts.

Example #4

You pick up the phone. Your Roth IRA advisor suggests you consider investing in the market to up your annual gains. But deep down, you know it’s a bear market, and you’ve been waiting until some blue chip stock options become available because you just cashed in on recent dividends!

OK, maybe not that fourth one.

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But the first three? Damn straight you’re dealing with some version of some nonsense somewhere that you’re tired of.

It’s time you put an end to the madness once-and-for-all.

STOP the madness.

Let them know you mean business.

WITH A FRIGGING EXPLOSIVE DEVICE replica.

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This beast is also hella attractive.

Put it on a shelf.

Mount it on a wall.

Take it everywhere with you just incase.

Put it on a chain and let it hang from your neck.

Whatever.

You’re the boss.

This beautiful sign proudly measures 5” wide, 8’5” tall.

It’s the perfect size to put pretty much anywhere.

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Just imagine how quickly people will realize all of a sudden you’re not taking any more of their guff.

Oh, and imagine giving this bad boy as a gift.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME. MIND. BLOWN. (pun intended)

Your gift recipient will open this, and you’ll all have a good chuckle. Then a laugh. Then you’ll start bobbing your head. Then somebody starts beatboxing.

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Then you scream: “EXPLOSIONS ARE OVERPOWERING AND OVER THE COMPETITION, I’M TOWERING.”

Everybody’s wig melts. They can’t even believe what they’ve heard.

High-fives all around. You are the gift-giving hero for life.

Congratulations.

DefineAwesome.com can not guarantee that anyone’s wig will melt. Though it would be awesome, we can guarantee you’ll have a higher likelihood of wig melting if you learn the entire song lyrics to LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out.” It’s a party favorite. Come on, that song is awesome. Bust it out whenever you can.