Gifts Under $25

Say goodbye to costly toilet paper…forever! Did you know that the average human being spends 97.3%* of their life on the toilet? As the epicenter of home entertainment, the toilet is a very important place. Here are just a few of the things people do while on the old...
If you’ve ever said to yourself, “You know, I’d like to own an alien one day,” you are about to hit the jackpot: baby yoda. We proudly introduce you to an alien. We’re not quite sure who he is, or much about his background, so we’re going to speculate...
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the toilet timer official
At some point over the last decade, toilet timers have revealed that our time in the bathroom has increased exponentially. What are we doing there? Showering more effectively? Shaving more intensely? Taking our dental care game to the next level? Doubt it. We’re sitting on the toilet staring at...
fast internet in a can
With the technological advances of the last decade apparent, it has always stunned the universe that there was not an easier way to access the simple pleasures of WiFi. A brief look back at the incredible break-throughs shows a fantastic trajectory of monumental progress: 2011 – Albert Snoot introduces...
You love your partner. You love your friends. You love animals, nature, the ocean. You even love the sun, the moon, the stars. It’s so hard to love everything so much, isn’t it? It would bring a damn tear to the eye of a grizzled Viking warrior if they...
Hello, my name is Chuck Norris, and I’m here to tell you about this fancy little book a good friend of mine named Ian Spector wrote called: “The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 Facts About the World’s Greatest Human.” Now the first question you might be asking is, “Hey,...
With cannabis everything all the rage these days, it is very rare to come across a cannabis product that has actually been in existence for well over 250 years. The year was 1783. It was early Spring, and Farmer Jedidiah “Cheech” Hamilton set forth to plow his fields. Hamilton...
2020 is going to a magnificent year filled with technological marvels that were unimaginable just a decade ago. Thanks to the internet, our planet is now more connected than ever.  Futurists suggest that in just a few short years, we’ll have a global economy, location independent jobs, energy that...
fake parking tickets prank
Does it smell like success in here, or is it just my underarms wafting the odor of a winner? Yup, it’s definitely me. It’s not you, and your weird little parking routine that makes it look like a six-year-old somehow got their license from a cereal box as a...
With all deez holidayz around the corner, isn’t it time you treat yourself to some gold plated grillz for that wonderfully pretty smile of yours? Let’s cut right to the chase: you deserve better. You deserve more. You have earned the prettiest smile in all the land. So how...
It goes without saying that there are numerous benefits to being passive-aggressive in your dealings with other people (also known as “simpletons”). The issue with simpletons is that they are far, far inferior to the brilliance that people like you bring to this planet. You’re a genius. You’re thoughtful,...
Please take a moment to reflect on the wonderful prose from, classically trained popular music star of the 1980’s, Kendall “Rockwell” Gordy as he sang in his 1984 smash hit “Somebody’s Watching Me,”, “I always feel like…somebody’s watching me….whoa-oh-oh. I always feel like…somebody’s watching me…and I have no privacy…whoa-oh-oh!”...
Pillow fights first came into prominence in the royalty circle of Richard the Lionheart in 1189. Sure, you’re reading this like, “Yeah, dude, I know He was the son of Duke Robert of Normandy, also called ‘Robert the Devil’, and of Herlev (also known as Arlette), whose father, Fulbert,...
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the cigar glass
Oh, you’re a fancy gentleman, aren’t you?! Wonderful! What a wonderful existence it must be! You spend your mornings in a luxurious bathrobe, likely being given a world-class massage by a masseuse with a name like “Olfan” or “Laurencia.” You have a lovely breakfast of freshly cut cantaloupe, artisan...
PASADENA, CALIFORNIA: July 2019 Pasadena Times Headline: BABY IN A TORTILLA BLANKET BURRITO PHOTOSHOOT CAUSES UPROAR WITH LOCAL COMMUNITY The reason? What a disaster. Who was the creator who would ever think you should put a baby in an actual burrito? And where in the world would they find...
thats what she said button
MY NAME IS PRISON MIKE. THEY CALL ME PRISON MIKE BECAUSE I’VE BEEN IN PRISON. AND MY NAME IS MIKE. You think it’s all fancy dances and handshakes in prison? Because let me tell you, buddy, it’s not. It’s not waking up leisurely at quarter past eight while a...
car exhaust whistle prank
In the Autumn of 1916, a man named Barnaby J. Minkles stumbled upon a prank so lively, so wonderful and so outrageous, he was regarded as one of the foremost prank masters of the twentieth century. Minkles worked long hours on the assembly line as a linesman for the...
roast beef sandwich bath
Ugh. The grind of the workweek. You’re up and at’ em every day, and you’re working your tail off for the man. By the time the end of the week arrives, it’s all about a little “you time.” Sit back, relax, enjoy a nice pallet of bacon soda pops...
cell phone jail for iphones and android phones
The Cell Phone Jail: The world’s smallest jail cell for your overzealous cell phone usage is not quite what it seems. Imagine the jungles of Africa, 1981. Hot, dry, unexplored. American traveler Saxon Bingham enters the jungle alone. He discovers a tiny jail cell, empty in the middle of...
6 flavor assortment of odd sodas
Roll up to the party like, “ANYONE WANT A TASTE OF MY BACON SODA?” Utter such a phrase and the party guests will immediately turn into putty in your fingers. Mold them, dear friend. Mold them to love you. To appreciate you. To turn the party into the most...