Tactical Self Defense Pen
A Regular Ballpoint Pen? That’s not Going to Cut it, My Friend.
You are prepared for the zombie apocalypse, right? Right?? Of course, you are you forward-thinking genius. You are a tactical self-defense master.
Your bunker is all stocked up; your go-bag is ready under your desk at work, your machete is razor sharp.
You don’t need to rely on the police and military to come and save you, because you know they’re not coming. You’ve clearly thought of everything, right?
Then let me ask you, what have you got in your pockets right now that would get you through the end of civilization? Some gum? A flyer for your friend’s one-person show that you’re totally going to go to?
What happens if your at a lunch meeting when the outbreak starts? Are you going to risk running back into your now infested office building, filled with your undead former co-workers, completely unarmed? Hell no you’re not!
It is Zombie Hunting Time
That’s why you need the tactical self-defense pen. Fully equipped with a sharp pointed, carbide, glass breaking tip, this baby is just what you need for spiking Karen from HR’s brainstem on your way to the machete you have hidden behind the snack cabinet.
That’s for hitting reply all on everything Karen! This baby really is the ultimate portable defense weapon. Aircraft aluminum body, glass breaker, and a hidden handcuff key for when the “police” come along and arrest you because Karen “wasn’t a zombie”.
Multiple Functions and Zombie Destruction
Plus, it functions as an excellent refillable ballpoint pen that takes standard and fisher space ink cartridges.
Crush zombie skulls! Smash any window that gets in your way! Escape from captivity with ease! Be prepared for the zombie apocalypse at all times with the only compact defense tool that can also sign that stupid get well card for Karen. Get yours today!