Say goodbye to costly toilet paper…forever!
Did you know that the average human being spends 97.3%* of their life on the toilet?
As the epicenter of home entertainment, the toilet is a very important place. Here are just a few of the things people do while on the old yurt n’ squirt:
Pay their bills, refinance mortgages, potentially invest millions of dollars in the stock market.
Most people have dozens of ledgers, quill pen and ink well within inches of their throne.
Ponder the meaning of life, consider the inner workings of the human mind and often zone out into a perfect state of nirvana for several hours at a time. Sometimes people also Facetime video chat with Buddha or the Dalai Lama.
Six in 10 people note that the poop stoop is their preferred location to craft. Not only do they bring in supplies like glue, construction paper and rulers – many people use their toilet as command central for larger projects like abstract painting and kiln work.
With so much emphasis on how much time, work and energy is spent on the toilet, why would anyone ever want to add the insanely arduous task of having to wipe themselves onto the pile?
Gross out. You’re better than that.
Let the bathroom be the place you do work. Enjoy life. Spend hours upon hours of time scrolling through photos of people’s lunch on social media.
Let the Roto Wipe take care of the archaic toilet paper roll’s roll.
Roto-Wipe will clean your behind and leave it sparkling fresh. Frankly, your backside will love it so much, it might grow a mouth just to utter the words “Thank you.”
The Roto-Wipe automatically senses how horrifyingly disgusting your region south of the border is and gets to work.
No more worrying about having to waste your time using seven or right rolls of toilet paper.
The new, handy dandy Roto Wipe makes it so you don’t need to use your dandy hand anymore.
Is the local grocery store, 7-Eleven, Wal-Mart, Target, Staples, Office Depot and McDonalds all out of toilet paper?
Boom. Roto Wipe.
Are your “friends” also “out” of toilet paper?
Boom. Roto Wipe.
Save time, money and the nightmare of having to wipe yourself with Roto-Wipe.
Oh…bonus: it’s not a real thing.
Roto Wipe is another prank gift box!
Will the people you give this to cackle in delight?
They’ll also secretly wish Roto Wipe was real. Because who wouldn’t want a little wheel thing creeping all around our nether regions?
The Roto Wipe Gift Box.
Changing the way you think of the toilet, the yurt n’ squirt, the porcelain throne, the poop scoop…whatever you call it…forever!
Disclaimer: The Roto Wipe, while not an actual device is something you might want to make yourself. Just be safe. Don’t use a tire…way too big (not that we know from experience or anything).