Are you a purveyor of fine, starchy vegetables, but also have a penchant for gaming?
Do you find yourself endlessly scrolling through game sections of websites thinking, “Gosh, if there was only a wonderfully engaging activity that merged both my love of hot potatoes and, secretly, my desire to quite literally shock people with volts of pure excitement.”
You’re not alone. This is exactly the predicament Mr. Russet P. Tato was in just a few short years ago.
Russet lived in the great state of Idaho. World-renowned for the finest selection of hot potatoes ever imagined.
He sat on his porch, rocking in a handmade wooden glider.
His eyes, weary.
His heart, heavy.
His soul, empty.
Russet had friends coming over that evening, and he simply could not find the perfect way to entertain them.
He sat, stoically looking over his glasses.
The wind blew, the sun was setting. Russet closed his eyes, and then it happened.
Full of starch, vigor, energy and probably one too many Old Fashioneds, Alexander’s, P. Tato jumped to his feet.
He rushed into the fields and grabbed a handful of potatoes.
He ran at full speed into his workshed and began creating something that the world had never seen.
Since Russet’s work is proprietary information, and we’re not allowed to share his exact methods, here are just a few words, to sum up what happened that evening:
The guests arrived. Then, what happened next will blow your mind…
Women clutched their pearls and looked for the closest fainting couch. Men gasped in amazement. The game lasted for hours.
Russet P. Tato was labeled a hero.
To this day, if you visit the small town of Orafino, Idaho, there is a bronze statue dedicated to the inventor of:
The statue of the genius who turned a hot potato into a shock potato can now be seen by all who visit the town square.
Be your own hero of the party: bring the legacy of Russet P. Tato home.
Not only will you be regaled as the champion of fun, but partygoers, friends, and family of all ages will have their life changed forever after playing the insanely addictive and exciting game.
As Russet P. Tato defined SHOCKTATO do poignantly: “It’s basically hot potato, but it doesn’t suck. Oh, and there’s a shock thing too. Pretty badass.”
Disclaimer: The SHOCKTATO is the greatest party game of all time. Please do not attempt to replicate this game on your own. Please do not use pliers, wires, soldering, vice grips, test tube shots, potato peeler, Steve from Blues Clues, aged Wisconsin cheese, an allen wrench, a guy named Allen Wrenchor fourteen pair of velcro sneakers from the late 1970s without proper supervision.