You’ve been out all night doing the things you do to keep your life interesting (you know, drinking liquids that inebriate and such). Standing in your kitchen, you think to yourself, “What in the name of all that is Snoop Doggy Dogg am I going to satiate the hunger that is bellowing deep within the recesses of my belly?”
Then whoosh! Like an angel sent from the heavens above, rapper Snoop Dogg appears in your kitchen!
Surrounded by ethereal light and fog, the Doggfather smiles knowingly, pats you on the head and remarks, “Snoop knows you are hungry dear child. I have brought you the gift of the Dogg. The gift – of exquisite cuisine ideas.”
Your heart is full knowing that soon your stomach will be also…but as quick as he came, he’s gone.
Left behind, sitting on your kitchen counter is a gift, however. A divine gift from Snoopafella himself: “From Crook to Cook: Platinum Recipes from Tha Boss Dogg’s Kitchen.”
The book opens magically and you thumb through the recipes. “How could the Snooper Trooper know I needed this so badly in my life,” you think. This truly is a miracle.
As you gracefully peruse the offerings you realize that this book, more than any other that has ever passed through your hands, will change your life for the better. It’s recipes, so glorious. It’s wit, unmatched. The delicacies suggested are unlike anything you could have ever imagined yourself:
- Baked Mac & Cheese
- Fried Bologna Sandwiches
- Easy Orange Chicken
- Soft Flour Tacos
- …and 46 more recipes that are frankly, TOO HOT for this write-up
You quickly gather your pans and get to cooking. You make the dish of your choice following the incredibly simple to follow instructions all the while enjoying the visual treat that are the photos of Snoop Dogg himself in the kitchen.
Voila! Your meal is ready. You sit down at your dinner table and glance at the clock. It’s now Noon.
NOON? Where did the time go! Was it all a dream?! Was Snoop Dogg really in your kitchen?
All of the questions and concern fade away as you take your first bite of the most magnificent, hood rich food you have ever tasted in your entire life.
Snoop has done done it again, ya’ll.
Plus, now you’ve got a super fancy coffee table book to display. Your visitors will remark, “My, my! You must be so cultured to have a book of recipes from the father of hip-hop himself!”
“Snoop Dogg is to the food, what soul is to the body.“