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Now you can balance your life-crippling soda addiction with a false sense of helping the environment! Don’t just throw that big plastic soda bottle away; use it as a high capacity water gun chamber. The Bazooka Water Gun holds more water (or tequila, if this is for a bachelor party), which means less refilling and […]

CALLING ALL PARTY ANIMALS! OK, the party animals are here! Look at you crazy party animals! Horses, sheep, pigs, cows! Wild and crazy party animals who just love having a good time, don’t they! Now do us a favor. Get out. You, get out of here. Every single last one of you. Horse? Back to […]

Absurdly hilarious, dark and twisted fortunes inside the most delicious cookies your little taste buds have ever had the pleasure of enjoying.

We live in the future. A world of boundless opportunity and endless possibility. A world, where anything can happen at a moment’s notice. An awesome world, where pets can live in a virtual world that caters to their every fancy. Welcome to Pet VR. Population: your pet. The Virtual Reality pet headset defies all of […]

If you still think the archaic “That Was Easy” button has any relevance in today’s world, you’ve got another thing coming, Mister (or Miss. Or Ms. Or Mrs. ). That thing you’ve got coming? The “NAILED IT” button. Designed in a micro laboratory in the heart of downtown Brooklyn, this is the absolute must-have button […]

LOOK AT YOU ONLY USING ONE SCREEN LIKE A CHUMP. “Oh, bro, you don’t get it, dude, I’m on my laptop bro, it’s only got one screen man.” GROW-UP, SON. IT’S TIME TO GROW UP. Look, we get it. You went to your corner computer shop, got your cute little single-screen laptop and you were […]

Dear Realistic Baby Doll (A Letter from a 3-year-old): This is a sincere letter of gratitude for all of the wonderful benefits you have provided me. As a three-year-old little girl, you may be surprised as to the limitations placed on me by life, at this point in time. I’ve only been on this planet […]

Let us take a moment to tell you the story of Johnny “Reverse” Peephole. You may know Johnny for his wonderful invention: The reverse peephole But, do you know how the ingenious invention came to be? Indulge us for a moment as we take you through a brief, but a magical account of how it […]

Introducing: The 3d Edison LED Light Bulb Let’s go on a journey together into the mysteries of this 3d LED light bulb, shall we? A cosmic journey, where space and time are insignificant. Where nothing matters other than your deepest, innermost desires. You close your eyes. The lights of your subconscious begin to twinkle. Your […]

“Crazy James the Screamin’ Goat” is what his family, friends, neighbors and every farmer east of the Mississippi call him. What they don’t know is the real reason he screams…

So many massage hooks, so little time. Unfortunately, most of the hooks you and I are familiar with are the boring ones. 1. The Fishing Hook. Yeah, cool. You put it on a string and let it dangle in the water with an old worm on it. Gross, dude. Nobody wants that old worm, not […]

When wearing the Rainbow Unicorn Head, you’ll notice a few pretty significant changes in your surroundings, and possibly leading to life-changing experiences which come with side effects which include, but are not limited to…

The Cell Phone Jail: The world’s smallest jail cell for your overzealous cell phone usage is not quite what it seems. Imagine the jungles of Africa, 1981… Hot, dry, unexplored. American traveler Saxon Bingham enters the jungle alone. He discovers a tiny jail cell, empty in the middle of the jungle, surrounded by ancient bao-bao […]

The most successful human being that ever lived mastered two things: dreams and emotions. Who was this person of mystery? Her name was Alicia. Alicia lived in a little place you’ve probably never heard of before called New York City, New York (in the United States of America, which is within the continent of North […]

Hello, my name is Chuck Norris, and I’m here to tell you about this fancy little book a good friend of mine named Ian Spector wrote called: “The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 Facts About the World’s Greatest Human.” Now the first question you might be asking is, “Hey, Mr. Norris – are you really […]

Marvinious Ketchup Jr. was exceptionally proud of his tomato farm. In fact, he was so proud of his tomatoes, that he used them for everything. Yes, literally everything. Breakfast was a tomato sandwich. Two pieces of tomato with a tomato in the middle and some ketchup for dipping on the side. For lunch he’d have […]

Clocky is the original runaway alarm clock on wheels that helps you get up and go with some extra pep in your step! Clocky rolls! Clocky runs! You’ve got to catch Clocky to turn off your morning alarm! What a wonderful novelty to help you wake up with a smile every day! So cool. Oh, […]

So let’s face it, the world of music has gone downhill since Avicii tragically left us. So who is going to take his place in this crazy world of EDM?  First, who is suiting of becoming the next great DJ of our time? Honestly, DJs are the laziest of the musically talented. The job of a […]

Looking for a pet that’s out-of-this-world adorable? Look no further than Pet Sea Monkeys! These amazing little creatures are not only cute as can be, but they’re also super easy to care for. Just add water and watch them grow! Picture the first time you ever went to SeaWorld. Smell the saltwater emanating from what […]

You probably have a perfect reason for viewing this product. Maybe you’re in pain. Your neck, shoulders, head, and back. Whatever it is, we’re sure it’s probably not fun. Maybe you even feel a little bit bad for yourself, and are thinking “Is the Vinmax Over the Door Cervical Traction Set even going to do […]

Sure, you know your three-month-old is a gentleman and a scholar, but does he look the part? Nothing degrades an academic’s sterling reputation faster than a full-diaper, spit-up stained onesie, and inability to grow facial hair. Fortunately, there’s a simple way to cover up your baby’s faults and transform them into the Rhodes Scholar they were born to be: the […]

It’s Time. Time To Be Cool. Time To Play Capture The Flag! The cool kids in every single 1980’s movie had a few things in common: Awesome hair. Each follicle probably drenched to the tippy top with Aqua Net hairspray. That was the coolest way to make your hair look unnaturally stiff and also deplete […]

Nothing is The Instant Path to Enlightenment To quote the infinitely wise and highly enlightened Hugh Jackman, “I love making a fool out of myself. I made my living as a clown at kids’ parties for about three years.” Classic Hugh, am I right? He also said, “Meditation is all about the pursuit of nothingness.” […]

PASADENA, CALIFORNIA: July 2019 Pasadena Times Headline: BABY IN A TORTILLA BLANKET BURRITO PHOTOSHOOT CAUSES UPROAR WITH LOCAL COMMUNITY The reason? What a disaster. Who was the creator who would ever think you should put a baby in an actual burrito? And where in the world would they find a soft tortilla large enough to […]

“YOU DID IT PUNK, WE KNOW YA DID! NOW YOU’RE GOING TO SPEND LIFE IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT!” These words, while chilling and scary are also a dream come true for parents who haven’t had more than five seconds to themselves for any shred of alone time since their children were thrust upon this earth. Somewhere […]