Top 13 Retirement Gag Gifts

If you know someone who is about to retire and is ready to hang their ties up (or maybe even burn them all), then this is the list for you! We’ve collected some of the funniest retirement gifts on the internet, and you can get them delivered right to your door in just a few business days.

This is the perfect gift for those who can’t quite hear you in the office. If they can’t hear you when your right next to them, they’re definitely going to need this on the golf course. For only $5.69 this cheap gift with not only let you repeat yourself less, but it will also give grandpa the gift of hearing.

Add these to the retiree’s favorite wine bottles to make your retirement party the best one to date. These waterproof labels are perfect for chilled wines and can survive even the rowdiest of retirement parties. Why stick to wine either? These labels can fit any 750ml alcohol bottle, including liquor bottles for those old whiskey or vodka lovers. The three-step instructions are so easy even your grandma can do it.

Who doesn’t like a good putter? With this, you can take a break from the course and go straight to the green. With a putter, two practice balls, and a door hanger you’ll be ready to take on any of the retired golf veterans on the course. For only $7.99 you’re guaranteed to take your game to the next level.

This gag gift is perfect for the one person in the office you’re worried about driving. This gift has the potential to save a life! With this magnet should be able to attach to any car and will be valuable to everyone around the driver including you if you see them on the road. This magnet comes in a single pack for only $6.70 or a bundle deal of two for $11.49 for the retired couple.

This gag gift is the perfect gift for those leaving the office who have a good sense of humor. When you’re retired, you don’t want to spend all of your time on the toilet with the potty putter! Give them an extra pair of underpants so they can be ready to go anytime anywhere. If they just want a change into a pair of nice new underpants on the go that’s an option too! This safe and sanitary gift can make you the best gift giver at the retirement party for only $5.49.

This gag gift is perfect for the one person in the office you’re worried about driving. This gift has the potential to save a life! With this magnet should be able to attach to any car and will be valuable to everyone around the driver including you if you see them on the road. This magnet comes in a single pack for only $6.70 or a bundle deal of two for $11.49 for the retired couple.

It’s no secret that retirement means a lot of free time, so give them the gift of martinis to make that free time even better! This gift basket provides everything one needs to complete their own cosmopolitan from scratch, no bartending experience required. With snacks and spirits, this is the perfect gift to those who like to sit down and let the time go by.

This list wouldn’t be complete without a retirement coffee cup. Give the classic gift of a coffee mug, and they will use it every morning. I’d be surprised if anyone whose retiring isn’t addicted to coffee already, but on the off chance they aren’t, this could be a perfect substitute for an incognito whiskey glass. From the morning drinkers to the late night caffeine addicts this is a perfect gift with the low price of $14.99.  

A highly customizable clock is a fantastic gag gift for someone who was always looking at the clock at work and was always out of the door the minute the workday ended. Who needs numbers now that they’re retired? $15.90 plus shipping and handling is nothing compared to the laughs you’ll be getting at the retirement party. Coming fully assembled and ready to hang on the wall this gift will be appreciated by anyone who receives it.

Everyone at the retirement party will want to know where you got these hilarious mints! They may not actually help your memory, but they do have a big kick to them, they are said to be stronger than Altoids. Who knows, strong mints might be the thing that could jog someone’s memory. These potent little mints are going for the low price of $8.36 a tin.

This is a perfect gift for the golf junkie who is always away on the course after a long day. This flask is entirely customizable, and the fan favorite on Amazon is the “putting juice” text which is perfect for those long greens. It will be the perfect new addition to the golf bag.  This stainless steel highly customizable flask can be the gift of retirement for only $12.75 plus shipping and handling.

There’s always that one person who talks way too much at the office, and this is the ideal shirt for them when they finally retire. This shirt will save people from the struggle you’ve had to go through at the office. This is sure to get a big laugh at the retirement party, and I’m sure the person receiving the gift will not stop talking about it. You can get this shirt for only $18.99 and have the option of 5 different colors.

Give the gift of glass to the queen of the office that is finally retiring. She can finally be saying “Good-bye tension, Hello pension.” A glass of their favorite wine would go perfectly with this give, and they are sure never to forget who got them the glass when drinking from it. You can get this gift for only $12.99, and with the new stemless glass, they will be sure to fit right in with their younger colleagues.