World’s Flattest, Mattest, Black Paint

Just the Thing You’ve Been Looking for!

Stuart Semple’s Black 2.0 matte paint is just the thing your art supplies have needed. You’ve tried everything in your quest to become the next superhero. Letting a bunch of spiders loose near the local nuclear plant and then rummaging around in their wood piles to get bitten. You’ve taken your parents out for countless nights at the theatre and then walked them down dark alley after dark alley, but they’re still alive and well playing Bridge at the retirement home. You’ve even tried to get onto Elon Musk’s next SpaceX mission to get irradiated in orbit, but he won’t respond to your emails. So, you’ve only got one option left. Lose one of your senses to heighten the others. The obvious one is, of course, sight. It worked for Daredevil right? You’re no fool though. You’re not just going to jump straight into the black void of blindness right away.

Test the Theory

The theory needs to be tested. That’s exactly why you need Stuart Semple’s Black 2.0 matte black paint. This is the world’s mattest, blackest paint. This is as close as you can get to the void of true black darkness without taking a hot poker to your eyes. Sure, it’ll be a little investment, but if you paint your whole house and all your possessions with this stuff you will be one step away from total blindness.

Plunge Into Darkness

Depth perception? Who needs it? Prepare to gains the hearing, smell, touch, and taste of a well trained Ninja. With Stuart Semple Black 2.0 matte black paint covering everything you own, it’s lights out! Sure, you’ll probably never find your remote again, and get ready for more stubbed toes than you’ve had in your entire life, but the road to heroism is paved with personal sacrifice. Take the plunge into darkness and be reborn, with Stuart Semple’s Black 2.0, the mattest, blackest paint around.