“OH, YEAH? WELL, YOU’RE A CHICKEN!”
These are the words hurled at you from a middle school bully as you stand there in stunned silence.
It’s Spring.
The weather is just starting to break, and winter is but a faint memory.
You look around on the playground to find a group of children starting to encircle you and the bully.
You side up the situation:
You are absolutely not a chicken
Everyone is staring at you, so you have to do something.
The bully seems pretty intent on making a fool of you.
So what do you do?
You glance down at the ground, knowing that eye contact may be the one move that will cause this bully to charge at you and start a skirmish.
And you most certainly cannot afford a skirmish because you’re holding a chicken.
WAIT A SECOND. The bully is not a bully at all.
The bully is merely being observant of the fact that yes, you actually are holding a chicken.
You place the chicken down, look around, reach out your hand, and the purported bully shakes it.
It turns out you guys are buds.
But now there’s a problem. The chicken, sensing an issue, high tailed (or more realistically, “high beaked” it) out of there.
If you only had the foresight to purchase a Chicken Harness.
It would have been easy to ensure that you could have both diffused the situation and also held onto that chicken.
Well, guess what? Middle school was a long, long time ago.
It’s the present.
In the present, you know you need a chicken harness for your chicken.
Not only because of past lessons learned, but because it is simply the coolest way to bring your high-falutin’ chicken in the town.
Show off your chicken the way he and or she deserves with a chicken leash. The super comfortable, Yesito Chicken Harness.
Imagine the looks at the farmers market as you creep through with a chicken?
You’ll be a local celebrity, and so will your very personable chicken.
The Yesito Chicken Harness holds chicken 2.3-3.8 pounds, so you know you’ll never lose them again.
Here are several other locations and situations you might consider using your Yesito Chicken Leash:
1. Walking your chicken around the neighborhood while people fawn all over you
2. Bring your chicken into a work meeting and suggest they are a new intern
3. While you drive folks around during your part-time Uber gig, they can now safely be your co-pilot.
4. At church
5. During family reunions (Family will think, “What a success my cousin has become! Look at them jauntily walking around with a chicken on a harness!)
The Chicken Leash is here. It’s awesome. It’s safe and comfortable.
Don’t let the past define your future. Take advantage, man, take advantage of the chicken leash.
Braggadocious Disclaimer: We made it an entire product description of a chicken accessory without using the word “cock.” We cannot guarantee you will not use that word once you receive the item. Let’s be honest…it’s hilarious.
