There’s no way you’re still talking on your phone like it’s 2003, are you?
If you are, there is very little hope for you. Frankly, why not just go all out and treat your phone usage like it’s 1897.
Carry around an old wooden wall clock with a handset receiver and a cord, saying things like, “Umm, hello, is this four? Did I call the right number? Four? Oh, this is five? I’m sorry, my mistake.”
Maybe you could burst slightly into the future and have yourself one of those fab orange phones with the curly cords from the 1960s.
All were answering the phone like, “Hey man, far out, I totally get the good vibes you’re laying out man, how about I call you back in a few minutes after my index finger stops throbbing from having to use the dialer on a rotary phone. Like, for sure, cool, man.”
Hell, maybe you should go 1985 style and just use a side of the road payphone like you’re Marty McFly in Back to the Future.
Pop on your puffy vest and be all, “HEY DOC, WHERE WE’RE GOING THERE AIN’T ROADS.”
Better yet, how about you jump into the present.
You read that correctly, but just in case, we’re going to repeat it – because for all we know you’ve been stuck in 1897 for too long: YOU CAN USE YOUR HAND AS A PHONE RECEIVER. How flippin’ sweet is that?
You can talk into your glove, hear the conversation in HD sound, and be in full on-the-go mode about your hand warming as you usually would with any gloves.
Here are three places these gloves would be the primo choice for the righteous phone user:
1. On the slopes. Duh.
Imagine how easy life can be. You’re on the mountain. SHREDDING IT, OBVIOUSLY.
All of a sudden, your phone rings.
No more fumbling around like some sort of zero who doesn’t know a fakie from an ollie.
You stay on the snowboard like nobody’s business and land every trick, all the while talking into your pinkie finger to your Mom. Wow. She really appreciated that talk. Nice work.
2. In the city.
We all know you’re the coolest of the cool.
But not everybody in the metro area can see that, because you’re still walking around on your smartphone like some sort of caveman.
Now, you’ve got the accessory to show everybody not only are you “with it,” you are “it.”
And by “it,” we mean somebody who talks into a glove.
3. While you’re power walking at the North Pole.
We all love taking a pleasant little exercise stroll with Santa Claus, but that dude is so used to the cold, he can’t understand that we need to keep our precious digits warm.
These gloves do the trick – especially when the Elves call, being all like, “Tell the fat man to get home, pronto, cookies are ready!”
These gloves are all the things:
Don’t be some sort of goon stuck in the past.