The Cell Phone Jail: The world’s smallest jail cell for your overzealous cell phone usage is not quite what it seems.
Imagine the jungles of Africa, 1981… Hot, dry, unexplored.
American traveler Saxon Bingham enters the jungle alone. He discovers a tiny jail cell, empty in the middle of the jungle, surrounded by ancient bao-bao trees.
The covering in the jungle is dense. It’s difficult to see, as it’s dawn.
Where did it come from? And who, or more importantly what was inside?
Saxon picks up the cell phone jail cell and inspects it.
“This must be for a monkey or some sort of tiny Bigfoot? Maybe it’s for corn cob pipes?”
And not the kind of “Oh, isn’t he cute, he doesn’t know many things” idiot. He’s really, really dumb. Like, IQ of 31 dumb.
He stands, looking startled. Then, he decides to dance.
The Charleston.
The Cha-Cha-Cha.
He even spends several minutes doing the Twist.
Friggin’ Saxton Bingham. Professional weirdo.
Bingham then collects all of the tiny jail cells in a satchel he made out of hastily sewn together handkerchiefs.
He brings as many as he could manage back with him to America. Unfortunately, his travels back to America were long…
As you would imagine, the rowboat didn’t fit many of the tiny jail cells.
It also didn’t help that Saxton thought it would be hilarious to throw the tiny jail cells into the ocean to see if they’d float. Note: they don’t.
When back on the mainland of America, Saxton had work to do. How was he going to market these small jail cells?
He arrived by rowboat on the shores of Newport, Rhode Island in the summer of 2007.
It was a long trip. He was sunburned. He was hungry. He was 78 years old at this point. The 26-year rowboat journey certainly was not kind to the dumb man.
He rolled up on the shore, picked up the one final phone jail cell he had remaining.
Then, he looked to the sky and shouted “to the Heavens and beyond, I sacrifice this jail cell to the Queen of Alabama! Bazooka Joe”
Then he passed out. And quite unfortunately, the tide took him back out to sea.
But then, out of nowhere, A young woman walking the beaches came upon the tiny jail cell and had an ingenious idea.
She turned them into little tiny cell phone jails. Phones go in, but thankfully at least they can’t get out themselves (as opposed to whatever the heck was escaping them in the jungles so long ago).
People bought the cell phone jails from her in droves.
Using the cell phone jail for dinner parties, as punishments, as declarative statements noting an area was a “No phone zone.”
Fun stuff. She got rich. Cell phone jails are cool. Especially this one, it holds about six phones. You could even store other stuff in it, like your canned wifi. It has a lock.
But what about Saxton Bingham? We know that he rolled out to sea, but he did survive??
Turns out that just last week he washed ashore…waking up on the outskirts of the African jungles.
He opened his eyes, looked around and said “Bazooka Joe! Am I in Alabama?!”
Relive the magic of the honorable Saxton Bingham with this fancy little cell phone jail. Available now. With Free 2-day shipping. Thank you, Amazon.
Cell Phone Jail
My niece loved this thing! She asked for it on Christmas and I had no idea what it was. On Christmas she locked all of our phones in this thing which we actually liked because it made us actually talk to each other. This is actually a brilliant idea for intimate gatherings.
Product SKU: 60140000
Product Brand: Stupidiotic
Product Currency: USD
Product Price: 9.47
Price Valid Until: 2027-09-30
Product In-Stock: InStock
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