Chicken Noodle Soup Safe

You’ve got all the riches, and the world knows it.

You’re surrounded by wealth, luxury, and all the things the world envies.

So how do you ensure you keep all the things you have worked so hard in this life untouched by the mass of humanity that wants nothing more than to snatch up on your hard earned knot?

Easy, brah – a fake Campbell’s Soup can.

The fact that a Campbell’s Soup Can facade exists in the world is reason enough for you to bow down and thank the universal spirit for creating you in this time and space – but it’s also a clear indication that you are head and shoulders above the rest of your neighborhood peons when it comes to security.

How badass is the fake can? Well, let’s just say internationally respected modern art genius Andy Warhol was considered one of the greatest minds of the art world only a short time ago when he created a print of this exact can.

So now, what? You buy this thing and all of a sudden you’re both an art aficionado and also someone intelligent enough to keep your valuables hidden? Amazing.

Here are five things you could keep in this sweet soup can – because, if you haven’t realized yet, it comes with a false, removable bottom. Whoah.

  • A trillion dollars. That’s right. If you have a trillion dollars, you can stuff it all up in this can. Then you place it on your shelf of other various flavored condensed soup, and no one is the wiser. Not even the masked robber who creeps in your home looking for valuables. He doesn’t even notice the eight-figure sum sitting right within eyeshot. BECAUSE IT’S IN A SOUP CAN.
  • A handful of Diamonds. Cool, right? You’ve got a handful of super valuable diamonds that you carry everywhere. You often think to yourself, “Well…I probably shouldn’t have a whole ass load of diamonds sitting in my left cargo short, should I?” Boom – this can to the rescue.
  • The Deed to a Mansion in Dubai. Look – all of your friends know you’ve got that super sweet spot in Dubai. It’s the one valued at just over eight figures. The one with the pool and the petting zoo of exotic animals. Keep the property safe by stuffing the deed into this soup can, would you?
  • Series 1 Garbage Pail Kids. Wow, dude. The 1980s. Pretty sweet time. We miss those days. We miss them so much we’ve been prowling around looking for Series 1 Garbage Pail Kids (or as we call them, GPKs). We know you’ve got that Adam Bomb sticker. We know you’ve got the Dead Ted we all like laughing at. Even the hilarious Centi-Pete. Oh, man. What a card. A human shouldn’t have as many legs as a centipede!! Hide them in a can. Sure, you might have to fold them in half, but whatever.
  • Your Innermost Secrets. We’d be remiss if we didn’t comment on how we understand you have items we don’t even know about. Secret items. Maybe they’re things that are special to you. Perhaps they’re family heirlooms. Maybe they’re something from a distant planet. We can’t even begin to guess. Could be some hair from Bigfoot or a scale from the Loch Ness Monster.

Whatever you’ve got that has to be hidden – stuff that stuff in a soup can and rest easy.

The fake soup can for valuables. Stylish. Awesome. Safe.

The perfect gift for the discerning friend in your life…trust us — not anyone else.