If you want to feel like you’re drunk without having to drink a 12 pack of cheap beer, three shots of cinnamon whiskey and a test tube of something green that was sold to you on a platter by a girl in a cutoff t-shirt who claimed her name was “Foxy,” then;
These drunk goggles for impairing your driving abilities are the goggles for you!
Simulating a blood alcohol content level of .08-.15, these drunk goggles will legit show you what your vision impairment is without having to call your friend for a ride in their truck bed because it’s 3:47am, you’re at Taco Bell and you have no idea how you ate three platters of Nachos Bell Grandes in under eight minutes (and you also can’t feel your hands or feet…and you’ve been listening to talk radio and have no idea what language it’s in).
Text an ex-girlfriend
Tell her that you’d like to meet her at a fancy restaurant this weekend, and she can pick up the tab? Screw it, why not, you’re wearing drunk goggles!
Forget to go to work
Forget to pay your mortgage, lose the house, file bankruptcy and lose your car in the process? Screw it, why not, you’re wearing drunk goggles!
Sing karaoke at Noon?
Screw it, why not, you’re wearing drunk goggles!
Drunk goggles are the ultimate way to say and do anything you usually do when you’re drunk
Imagine how much more fun it will be yelling at a telephone pole at two o’clock in the morning while blasting Creedence Clearwater Revival’s Greatest Hits when you realize you won’t have to worry about a booze headache.
Extra perks of drunk goggles:
- Mediocre looking people look super hot with drunk goggles!
- You still shouldn’t drive while wearing them - so just another reason to get a chauffeur!
- The double cheeseburger with large fries...go ahead! What’s another couple of pounds. YOLO!
Every idea is a GREAT idea with drunk goggles!
Sure, you could use drunk goggles to teach yourself, young people and your friends and family a lesson showing them the danger of being impaired…but you could also dance like you were John Travolta at Studio 54 in 1982 just for the hell of it with no regrets.
Your choice.
Drunk goggles – the best thing since that case of Four Loco you drank last weekend.
