Every person who prides themselves on personal excellence swears by The Fart Neutralizer.
the king of a small island,
Frankly, the only way to be an upstanding citizen in times like this is to use a product called “Subtle Butt.”
Don’t take our word for it – read these amazing reviews of Subtle Butt – the odor neutralizing pad for your backside:
“I HAVE THE TROTS PRETTY MUCH ALL DAY, EVERY DAY ON ACCOUNT OF MY CHILI EATING COMPETITION PREPARATION. AND BOY DOES SUBTLE BUTT MAKE MY BOOTY GAS LESS OFFENSIVE.
THIS ONE TIME, I KNOCKED OUT AN ENTIRE RESTAURANT! BUT WITH THIS BREAKTHROUGH FART-NEUTRALIZING INVENTION, ONLY A COUPLE FOLKS PASSED OUT WHEN MY SOUTHERN WIND STORM BROKE THROUGH AGAIN.”
- Burleigh “Toot Monster” Johnston
“I LOVE BEING #1 AT DOING #2, BUT IT DOES COME WITH SEVERE CONSEQUENCES… MAINLY FARTS. DO I CONSIDER MYSELF THE BEST BUM RUMBLER IN TOWN? SURE, BUT YOU CAN’T BE PRINCE OF THE CHEEK WINDS WITHOUT SUBTLE BUTT.”
- Jerry “Hallway Tornado” Johnston
“These products are simply divine.”
- The Queen of England
Don’t let these product reviews alone sway your decision, but consider this:
If you are a human being, you fart.
There’s no question.
Are there very pretty ladies who pretend they don’t?
Yes.
Are they liars?
Definitely.
The problem is, if you want to engage in communication with any attractive person, at any time, you cannot stink of the most offensive stink of all time.
Subtle Butt takes the fear out of slipping one past the goalie.
Tired of People Giving You Weird Looks?
Change The Aroma You Release!
It's Time to Change those Weird Looks into Smiles.
You can feel free to blow a gasket anywhere you want.
Now that’s freedom.
Get The Subtle Butt
Subtle Butt pads affix to your underwear, and becomes a reliable Fart Neutralizer
Gosh, you’re gross… but everyone really is.
Subtle Butt is the perfect gift for those you know are gifted with tornado butt, or simply need to be reminded, “Hey – stop burping from your backside.”
Whether it’s for you or as a gift, Subtle Butt solves the world’s most horrifying problem: Stin. Kee. Fotz.
Don’t go into your day half ass. Go whole ass – surrounded by the charcoal filtery goodness of Subtle Butt.
Your answer to the perfect way to go bottoms out, without the evidence.
Subtle Butt: Saving the world one toot at a time.
PRO TIP: Pop one of these puppies into your underwear lining and let ‘em rip. Your friends will be smelling roses, but only you’ll know the truth. These adhesive pads use charcoal to neutralize the stench of your broken wind, letting you cut the cheese wherever you darn well please.
