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Ridley’s Sarcastic Sassy 9 Fortune Teller Psychic Mystic Novelty Answer Ball

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What You Need To Know About Magic Sarcastic 9 Ball:

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Let’s be real.

There are very few things in this world that you can shake and instantly receive a sarcastic answer from…

Honestly, has your brain ever even considered something like that?

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Sad. Sad that we even had to bring this to your attention.

But in sadness, there is hope.

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Let’s consider something very important here.

What objects in this world could you shake that would sarcastically respond to you?

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Ice? If you shook ice in hopes of seeking the answers to all life’s mysteries, do you know what you’d get?

Cold water. Blah. That’s not fun.

A recliner? If you tried to shake a recliner, do you know what you’d get? A footrest to the gut.

Not only is that not going to help with questions, but it’s also probably going to hurt a bit.

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A cow? If you shook a cow, what would you get? A MILKSHAKE!

Sorry, couldn’t help ourselves.

It’s true though – you wouldn’t get an immediate answer to the questions lurking in that precious little neuron factory in your headpiece, that’s for sure.

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Magic 8 Ball? Oh, the classic ball. Lame. Yes, you could shake it.

But would you get an answer? Probably…but it would also be wrong.

FACT: Did you know in scientific studies done in the late 1930s by Harvard Research Associates of Cambridge Massachusetts, a team of highly respected schlubs did a study that said 100% of Magic 8 Ball responses were wrong?

Not surprising.

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That’s why we proudly introduce you to…(insert incredibly bombastic theme music here)…



Head and shoulders above the lackluster classic mystic 8 ball, the Sarcastic Magic 9 Ball does it all.

It answers you – 100% correctly, every time and it also has a wonderfully sarcastic personality!

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Let’s practice with this crystal ball, so we can enjoy just some of the fundamentally entertaining, and accurate catchphrases this orb will toss your way:

Classic Sarcastic Magic 9 Ball Question #1:

“Hey Magic 9 Ball, will I win the lottery later this evening so I can buy yet another mansion off the coast of Mozambique?”

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Classic Magic Sarcastic 9 Ball Answer:

“Well, duh.”

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Your Response to the Witty Retort:

“Thank you Magic Sarcastic 9 Ball, you truly are remarkable!“

Sarcastic Magic 9 Ball Question #2:

“Am I the second most attractive person in world history, only behind Howard Carter, the wealthy businessman who helped fund the rediscovery of King Tutankhamen’s crypt in 1922?”

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Typical Magic Sarcastic 9 Ball Response:

“Well, duh.”

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Your Response to the Witty Retort:

Thank you Magic Sarcastic 9 ball, you are the most wonderful of all wonders!

Sarcastic Magic 9 Ball Question #3:

“Hey Magic 9 Ball, YOU ROUND, RIGHT?”

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Typical Magic Sarcastic 9 Ball Response:

“Yes, if you leave me alone.”

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Your Response to the Witty Retort:

“Thank you Magic 9 ball, you are oh-so pleasing! The most pleasing sarcastic ball ever!“

The Magic 9 Ball is a sarcastic, round, significantly better version of the classic 8-ball.

Plus, it’s easily everything you could ever want in a spherical novelty gift item.

Disclaimer: We cannot guarantee the Magic Dry Sarcastic 9 Ball is accurate with its answers 100% of the time. OR CAN WE?

Last update on 2024-06-22 / This post may contain affiliate links which may give us a commission at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

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