Magic Sarcastic 9 Ball

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Let’s be real. there are very few things in this world that you can shake and instantly receive an answer from.

Honestly, has your brain ever even considered something like that?

Sad. Sad that we even had to bring this to your attention.

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But in sadness, there is hope. Let’s consider something very important here.

What could you shake that would respond to you?

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Ice? If you shook ice in hopes of seeking the answers to all life’s mysteries, do you know what you’d get? Cold water. Blah. That’s not fun.

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A recliner? If you tried to shake a recliner, do you know what you’d get? A footrest to the gut. Not only is that not going to help with questions, but it’s also probably going to hurt a bit.

cow cannot answer like a magic 9 ball

A cow? If you shook a cow, what would you get? A MILKSHAKE! Sorry, couldn’t help ourselves. It’s true though – you wouldn’t get an immediate answer to the questions lurking in that precious little neuron factory in your headpiece, that’s for sure.

the magic 8 ball is not as funny as the sarcastic, magic 9 ball

Magic 8 Ball? Oh, the classic ball. Lame. Yes, you could shake it. But would you get an answer? Probably…but it would also be wrong.

Did you know in scientific studies done in the late 1930s by Harvard Research Associates of Cambridge Massachusetts, a team of highly respected schlubs did a study that said 100% of Magic 8 Ball responses were wrong? Not surprising.

That’s why we proudly introduce you to…(insert incredibly bombastic theme music here)…THE MAGIC 9 BALL!

Head and shoulders above the lackluster classic mystic 8 ball, the Magic 9 Ball does it all. It answers you – 100% correctly, every time and it also has a wonderfully sarcastic personality!

Let’s practice, so we can enjoy just some of the fundamentally entertaining, and accurate catchphrases this orb will toss your way:

Classic Sarcastic Magic 9 Ball Question #1:

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“Hey Magic 9 Ball, will I win the lottery later this evening so I can buy yet another mansion off the coast of Mozambique?”

Classic Magic Sarcastic 9 Ball Answer:

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“Well, duh.”

Your Response to the Witty Retort:

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Thank you Magic 9 ball, you truly are remarkable!

Classic Magic 9 Ball Question #2:

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“Am I the second most attractive person in world history, only behind Howard Carter, the wealthy businessman who helped fund the rediscovery of King Tutankhamen’s crypt in 1922?”

Classic Sarcastic 9 Ball Answer:

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“Well, duh.”

Your Response to the Witty Retort:

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Thank you Magic 9 ball, you are the most wonderful of all wonders!

Classic Magic Sarcastic 9 Ball Question #3:

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“Hey Magic 9 Ball, YOU ROUND, RIGHT?”

Classic Magic 9 Ball Answer:

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“Yes, if you leave me alone.”

Your Response to the Witty Retort:

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Thank you Magic 9 ball, you are oh-so pleasing!

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The Magic 9 Ball is a sarcastic, round, significantly better version of the classic 8-ball. Plus, it’s easily everything you could ever want in a spherical novelty gift item.

Disclaimer: We cannot guarantee the Magic Dry Sarcastic 9 Ball is accurate with its answers 100% of the time. OR CAN WE?