Let’s be real.
There are very few things in this world that you can shake and instantly receive a sarcastic answer from…
Honestly, has your brain ever even considered something like that?
Sad. Sad that we even had to bring this to your attention.
But in sadness, there is hope.
Let’s consider something very important here.
What objects in this world could you shake that would sarcastically respond to you?
Ice? If you shook ice in hopes of seeking the answers to all life’s mysteries, do you know what you’d get?
Cold water. Blah. That’s not fun.
A recliner? If you tried to shake a recliner, do you know what you’d get? A footrest to the gut.
Not only is that not going to help with questions, but it’s also probably going to hurt a bit.
A cow? If you shook a cow, what would you get? A MILKSHAKE!
Sorry, couldn’t help ourselves.
It’s true though – you wouldn’t get an immediate answer to the questions lurking in that precious little neuron factory in your headpiece, that’s for sure.
Magic 8 Ball? Oh, the classic ball. Lame. Yes, you could shake it.
But would you get an answer? Probably…but it would also be wrong.
FACT: Did you know in scientific studies done in the late 1930s by Harvard Research Associates of Cambridge Massachusetts, a team of highly respected schlubs did a study that said 100% of Magic 8 Ball responses were wrong?
Not surprising.
That’s why we proudly introduce you to…(insert incredibly bombastic theme music here)…
THE SARCASTIC MAGIC 9 BALL!
Head and shoulders above the lackluster classic mystic 8 ball, the Sarcastic Magic 9 Ball does it all.
It answers you – 100% correctly, every time and it also has a wonderfully sarcastic personality!
Let’s practice with this crystal ball, so we can enjoy just some of the fundamentally entertaining, and accurate catchphrases this orb will toss your way:
Classic Sarcastic Magic 9 Ball Question #1:
“Hey Magic 9 Ball, will I win the lottery later this evening so I can buy yet another mansion off the coast of Mozambique?”
Classic Magic Sarcastic 9 Ball Answer:
“Well, duh.”
Your Response to the Witty Retort:
“Thank you Magic Sarcastic 9 Ball, you truly are remarkable!“
Sarcastic Magic 9 Ball Question #2:
“Am I the second most attractive person in world history, only behind Howard Carter, the wealthy businessman who helped fund the rediscovery of King Tutankhamen’s crypt in 1922?”
Typical Magic Sarcastic 9 Ball Response:
“Well, duh.”
Your Response to the Witty Retort:
Thank you Magic Sarcastic 9 ball, you are the most wonderful of all wonders!
Sarcastic Magic 9 Ball Question #3:
“Hey Magic 9 Ball, YOU ROUND, RIGHT?”
Typical Magic Sarcastic 9 Ball Response:
“Yes, if you leave me alone.”
Your Response to the Witty Retort:
“Thank you Magic 9 ball, you are oh-so pleasing! The most pleasing sarcastic ball ever!“
The Magic 9 Ball is a sarcastic, round, significantly better version of the classic 8-ball.
Plus, it’s easily everything you could ever want in a spherical novelty gift item.
Disclaimer: We cannot guarantee the Magic Dry Sarcastic 9 Ball is accurate with its answers 100% of the time. OR CAN WE?
