I remember my first fire like it was 30 years ago last Thursday. Because it was.
I was a young fellow, just about old enough to fill my own diaper. I had recently learned to roll over and my father, being the manly, burly man he was wrote me a letter I still have to this day, that I would like to share with you:
In only 7 months time you’ll be one year old. Wow, the time flies. I can remember not long ago you didn’t even exist.
Your mother and I would sit around, enjoying ourselves. Watching movies, going out to fancy restaurants. Hell, sometimes we’d even just go walk on the beach just for goofs and giggles.”
We have a much more important job: instead of having any fun at all, we are now charged with maintaining a brand new human life (that’s you).”
It’s a hilarious way to leave a flaming diaper on a neighbor’s porch.
It’s a wonderful survival tool if we ever (accidentally) leave you on the side of a mountain next Sunday when we take a stroll with Mom and then file a police report that you’re missing and we move to another country and change our names so it would be next to impossible to locate us, then you are forced to raise yourself with the coyotes.
This kit has everything you need to either pull pranks…or survive in the wilderness. Fuel can, matches, logs, fire pit.
You’ll have it made. With a box kit like this, you’ll have no problem making it to like two or three on the side of that mountain – at that time you’ll probably be able to walk and you can make it to a highway where you can thumb a ride to Nana’s house.
She’ll take care of you (hopefully).
Best of luck, son. We think you’ll really enjoy your new life…er…fire starter kit.
I loved my Dad.
I loved that mountain.
I learned many things from those coyotes. I owe my entire life to :
The My First Fire Starter Kit
PS: Dad, I know you’re in Uganda. I can’t prove it yet, but I can just feel it.
PPS: It’s an empty box, perfect for prank gifts.
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