“Hello, who’s this? It’s my bladder? My bladder and my inner butt workings? My, my! I didn’t expect you to call me, what’s up?”
What a terrible phone call to have to receive. But it happens more often than we’d like to tell you about.
Unfortunately, every day, you’re putting your body through hell.
That’s right, we said it. HELL.
H-E-Double hockey sticks shooting pucks into the toilet like it was the finals of the Stanley Cup. Why? Because for some reason, you still haven’t learned to take care of your bathroom duties the proper way.
You see, there are lots of ways to go to the bathroom.
For some reason, you’ve chosen the wrong way.
Running in there with your pants around your ankles. Wildly groping at the handle to flush it, while you run out at top speed, sweating, trying to buckle your pants on your way out because you’ve got another bowl of firehouse chili to scarf down.
Slow down, my dude. The Squatty Potty is what you need to right the ship.
The Squatty Potty simply allows your legs to rest at a comfortable position for your body. No more running in and running out because toilet time is such a chore. You sit down, put your feet up and let nature do its thing.
Your partner, children, friends, extended family, neighbors. Whenever they go to use your commode, you don’t want them struggling in your bathroom. You want to ease the tension, baby. Let them feel what it should feel to let food exit the body.
Now that you’ve finally allowed your body to be adjusted to the exact right calibration for nature’s call, you’ll feel a whole heck of a lot better. No more being bound up like a spiral notebook in high school you never opened up.
The Squatty Potty will ensure that you are #1 at doing #2.
Could life get any better than that? We submit that it cannot.
Now, with the Squatty Potty and your newly appreciated body, you’ll never have to get a call from your butt, chewing you out for being so unaware of how poorly you’ve been treating it.
You’ve got that apple bottom, now make sure you treat it right!
The Squatty Potty will result in calls like this:
“Hey, this is your best looking body part. Just wanted to say thanks.”
Now, that’s the kind of call we want!
No more looking down your body, following the hairway to heaven and seeing a sad state of affairs.
You’ll feel wonderful from the inside out. Now that’s how to live a full life. All thanks to the squattiest of potties.
Disclaimer: No phone calls from buttocks or innards have ever been recorded in human history. BUT – and THAT’S A BIG BUT, it could happen. COULD. And if it did, would you want to be the one fielding the call? Not worth the risk. Treat your body right. Be the body that rocks the party. Squatty potty it up.