The Pet Butler

“Oh, Mimi – could you fetch me another hors devours please?”

“Ah, yes, Furball, I fancy a dessert to satisfy my naughty sweet tooth, my dear!”

That could be you. That could be you speaking to your pets as you finally come to the realization that not only can your pet be your best friend, but they can also be your butler too.

Pets as butlers.

This is the future – and the future is now.

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How long have we, as the human race, overlooked this extraordinary opportunity?

No longer will your freeloading pets prance around your house like some sort of entitled houseguest.

Look, we love pets, and we love their companionship – but if they don’t start pulling their weight, no one’s going to be happy.

The Pet Butler is the perfect solution for ensuring you never become jaded towards your pet for treating your home like a hotel.

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It allows them to show you they love you and appreciate everything you’ve done for them over the years.

Here are some actual* testimonials from pets, who claim we’ve completely changed their lives:

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“I used just to take advantage of my owner. All the time. I’d use the carpet in his bedroom for my bathroom. I’d ask him to take me out for walks around 3am every night. Really, the least I could do was amble over with a tray on my back he could enjoy some veggie dip during a party.”

– Bart, Dog
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“People think just because I’m the guinea pig, I can’t pull my weight. Wrong. I was more than happy to cart around several pineapples during a recent family gathering my family had. Sure, my shoulders have been a little sore since, but I know my owner truly appreciated my effort.”

– President Grover Furland IV, Guinea Pig
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“Cats love doing that thing where we arch our backs and freak people out. By putting the Pet Butler on my back, it shows my owner and his party guests that I won’t do that. Because my back is covered in crackers and cheese.”

– Jiminy Snickets, Cat

Wait, are you still seriously reading this like it’s a real product?

PRANK MASTER ALERT! You’ve been pranked, bro. Bro-lady. Lady, bro, friend. Pal. Buckaroo. Good buddy. Ol’ pal.

It’s just a box.

A box that makes it look like you’re giving someone a Pet Butler. WHEN IN FACT YOUR REAL GIFT IS WHATEVER IS IN THE BOX.

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HOT DIGGITY DOG, THE FUN NEVER CEASES TO EXIST!

Imagine the laughs when people think you bought them a Pet Butler, only to realize they have had the wool pulled squarely over there eyes.

You are the Prank Master. The Master of Pranks.

Not only will it be hilarious, but it will also cause everyone who sees it to realize how enjoyable life can truly be.

So do us a favor, if you’re going to buy a gift box, make it awesome.

Make it the Pet Butler box.

It’s like the gift before the gift. A gift appetizer, if you will.

Perfect for Pet owners, and also anyone with a pulse.

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Disclosure: All pet reviews listed may be fraudulent. who knows.