Emoji Pillows

The most successful human being that ever lived mastered two things: dreams and emotions.

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Who was this person of mystery?

Her name was Alicia.

Alicia lived in a little place you’ve probably never heard of before called New York City, New York (in the United States of America, which is within the continent of North America – on planet Earth).

Alicia was born in 1998. So far, the story is unremarkable, you might say…

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Well, we’re about to explode your mind with the story of how Alicia became the master of her own destiny, a beacon of light and hope for BILLIONS of people around the world.

1998:

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Alicia is born. The crazy part: she was born, peacefully napping. No crying, no screaming, just smiling and sleepy.

1999:

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Alicia wakes only 15 minutes per day – 7.5 minutes in the morning and 7.5 minutes in the late afternoon for dinner. Usually Cheerios.

2000:

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Alicia has mastered the art of communication. At two years old, she can already smile, frown, express disdain. She can even look cool with sunglasses on, causing those around her to think, “What a cool baby, with those sunglasses on. Cool. Cool. Cool. Very cool.”

2003:

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Alicia is considered the foremost artist of her elementary school. She can draw circles perfectly, all filled with the brightest colors any of her teachers had ever seen. Typically, she would fill the circles in with a gorgeous, vibrant yellow. Just beautiful.

2009:

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Alicia has surpassed all other students in her ability to express her deepest emotions via creative writing using an exceptional mastery of language, imagery and thoughtful expressions of love, fear, happiness, and surprise. Her writings evoke feelings of delight in all who read it.

2023:

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Alicia will be named the President of the Universe.

So, how does this all happen? It’s elementary, my dear web viewer.

EMOJI PILLOWS.

Alicia has been sleeping on these nifty emoji pillows since even before her birth. She was born happy, healthy, and prolific.

So how can you be like Alicia?

GET YOUR OWN EMOJI PILLOW SET.

We can’t guarantee you’ll be a complete success in life because of this pillows…but let’s just say…YOU WILL BE A COMPLETE SUCCESS IN LIFE IF YOU OWN THESE PILLOWS.

12 well made, comfortable, cool and expressive emoji pillows, spanning every awesome emoji you love and more.

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All the emotions! Awesome.

Be like Alicia. Be the dreamer of dreams. The master of your universe. The most comfortable person on your block.

Every time you lay your pretty little head on one of these twelve beauties, you’ll be able to relax and plan your next great masterpiece. Or, you can just hold up the one with its tongue out and laugh for a few minutes until you pass out. Your call.

Disclaimer: The story of Alicia is not a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are the products of real life. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is on purpose. The pillows rule, dude. They rule.