Oh, Look Who It Is: Johnny Money Bags!
Look at Johnny, walking around like some sort of financial wizard with those money bags.
You think there’s no end to the riches you can amass, right?
The whole world is your oyster. And it’s a damn tasty oyster.
Filled with priceless pearls. It’s nothing to you.
Because you’re rich as hell.
But there’s a problem…
How can you flaunt your wealth to those around you?
How can you ensure that everyone who comes within a ten foot radius of your presence is ensured a glimpse of the magnificent bank account you manage?
Easy! Fake money, bro. And lots of it.
OK, so the truth is, you probably aren’t the picture of wealth.
YET…
But with some fake stacks of dat cash-money all up in your pockets, all of a sudden, peeps around you might start to think of you a little differently. Maybe they start gossiping about you in really awesome ways.
Maybe they even start to treat you better. You will be, in their minds anyway, a well-to-do person. Here are ways you should consider flaunting your new found duckets:
Genius Fake Money Use #1:
Several assistants follow you, their master at all times. Even though you can’t actually afford it yet, you should prepare a few folks to follow you at all times. Always have stacks of this fake cash, and watch how they respond positively with gazes of awe to every move you make.
Smoothie? They should be there with a straw for you to sip. Shirt needs to be buttoned? Have them do it. Warm day out? Have them follow you with a fan. All the while, toss your fake dollars at them in a big, grandiose way. Or use a baller machine like the money gun.
Brilliant Fake Money Use #2:
Build a Replica Pyramid in Your Yard Make it huge. And golden. And sparkly. Then once a day stand out in your yard running around throwing your fake money around in the yard screaming, “THIS MEANS NOTHING TO ME!” Make sure the neighbors see. If they aren’t paying attention, feel free to do this over and over again.
Smart Fake Money Use #3:
Buy up all the Secret Monsters Hire a team of whoever the heck hunts these things to find them for you. Bigfoot. Mermaids. Trolls. Gnomes. John Travolta. Once their in your possession, hold a statewide carnival where you debut them like it’s some sort of rich man’s side show.
These are just a few ideas on how to flaunt your soon to be perceived wealth which actually isn’t real because this is fake money.
BUT STILL…
You could be the next Rockefeller.
Fake it until you make it, bro.
And if you can, party with Mermaids. That would be awesome.
Disclaimer: The money isn’t real, but it looks hella real. It’s the same size, same color and kind of the same feel. The only difference is you can’t use it as real money. Unless you have questionable friends with little intelligence. In that case, feel free to consider paying back any real money they may have let your borrow with these replicas
