Microwaveable Slippers

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Your world is in utter chaos.

You’ve been awake since 3 am. Quarter past three to be exact.

Were you woken up because of your incessant worrying about the fake news that greets you every day? 

You’re bombarded by screens showing you the worst possible headlines:

  • One-armed man fights a bull in the center of city square as onlookers film the horror
  • Technology company owns all your data and possibly is causing you to go bald
  • An infestation of ants forces North Dakota to close
  • Hamster grows an ear on his back, can now hear your most intimate discussions
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What about work, is work going well? Doubt it.

You get to work in the morning, weary. Bloodshot eyes. Feeling like you haven’t slept, because you haven’t.

You have a slight headache just above your left ear that makes every single pointless interaction with co-workers that much more annoying.

Your workday pretty much goes like this:

8:30 am: Sit down at your desk, wonder how you’ll get through the day

8:47 am: Oh my god, is it really not even 9 o’clock yet?

9:13 am: Well, time to walk around for a while, let’s visit the restroom for a few

9:49 am:May as well have lunch

10:52 am – 5 pm: Mindlessly browse the internet where you see more brain-numbing headlines

Thankfully, your commute home will be a nightmare.

Vehicular traffic, everywhere.

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But at 6 o’clock, something magical happens.

You arrive in your own little heated box. Your home. Your place.

Free from the worries of the day and the evils of the night.

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You walk through your door and throw your keys on the counter feeling a sense of lightness.

“I could do anything! Anything at all for the next three hours!”

You feverishly decide to be naughty and order a pizza. Go on! You deserve it!

You run to your bedroom.

There, in the moonlight you see them.

THEM.

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The Intelex Cozy Body Boots

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But there’s a twist…

They can be warmed up… in the Microwave!

Yes, you read that right.

These Slippers can be warmed up in the microwave.

microwaveable slippers

They can also, if you should ever desire, even be placed in the freezer to cool down.

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But tonight – it’s a snuggle in and keep warm kind of night.

You change into your jammies.

You heat up your Microwaveable Slippers.

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They feel like the warm embrace of the gods.

The doorbell rings just as you’ve poured your first glass of wine.

You are free.

You proudly walk over to the door with your microwaveable slippers and smile at the pizza delivery person who hands you the stuff of dreams.

You settle in on the couch and turn on the television. It’s a Netflix n’ Chill kinda night, with you, and your cozy new microwaveable slippers.

You select your favorite program.

You take a sip of wine. A bite of pizza.

Your little feet are still so warm, that your body begins to melt away into happiness.

This night is everything.

The microwaveable slippers have caused you to feel alive again.

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You deserve it, damnit.

You go to sleep in a state of pure bliss. Warm from the toes up.

JOLTED awake at 3 am again. Ugh.

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You’ll always have the evenings though, thanks to the Intelex Cozy Body Heatable Boots. They’re the beginning of “me” time.

Oh, and the wine and pizza don’t hurt either.

These microwaveable boots are the perfect gift for you, your friends, or even your puppy. Yes, you read that right. Puppies love boots.