Darn, man, reality can be a real let down sometimes.
You know how you’ll have, like a super righteous dream.
Then you wake up. And it’s not real. Those are the worst!
Here are just a few dreams we’ve had in the past couple of months that turned out to NOT be true:
Drinking with St. Patrick: We were up in Heaven. Guy was enjoying a few pale ales. We stop by his table. Whoa. St. Pat himself. Awesome guy. We had a few drinks, a few laughs. He even let me see the staff he used to drive the snakes out of Ireland. Plus – dude can bury potatoes. He must have eaten like six baked potatoes and a basket of garlic fries like nothing.
Skateboarding on the Statue of Liberty: We were at the tippy top of the flame thing and started going full speed down the robe. Hot damn it was wild. We couldn’t stop smiling – until we hit the water and our skateboard turned into the Cloverfield monster. Weird, but true.
Robot Legs: Long story short, we had insanely awesome robot legs that allowed us to both fly and have them turn into wheels so we could drive at light speed. Oh, and we also went into space where we met a bunch of SMOKING HOT aliens. Great time.
The Grilled Cheese Toaster:
A simple to use, and incredibly fun way to make two grilled cheese sandwiches at the same time. Perfectly toasted bread, insanely delicious melty cheese, and a basket that ensures you can make it and clean up in record time. Unfortunately, not real.
As you’ve just read, dreams, though awesome, are fraudulent. Fraudulent and fake.
WAIT JUST A HOT SECOND.
A TOASTER THAT MAKES MULTIPLE GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES AT THE SAME TIME.
Is this a dream?
Oh, my. It’s not.
This is better than the Statue of Liberty, St. Patrick and Aliens!
It’s everything you’ve ever wanted in a cheese and carbohydrate making concoction, all in one place!
Simply assemble the sandwich, put it in the handy little basket and toast away.
No fuss, no mess, only the stuff dreams are made of.
Imagine now, you’re having a party. One of your guests loudly demands SNACKS.
You tell that obnoxiously loud guest to settle down, because YOU’RE ABOUT TO TURN THIS PARTY INTO SOMETHING DOWNRIGHT SPECIAL.
Ain’t nothin’ but a grilled cheese toaster party!
You start piling up bread and cheese like it was some sort of competition.
You start cranking out grilled cheeses, perfectly made, two at a time.
Your guests start going CRAZY!
“What is this dream machine!?” they’ll ask.
“How are you making every sandwich so perfectly!?” they’ll ask.
“Am I dreaming?!” they’ll question.
This is real life.
Now, when the melted cheese party ends, you sit quietly. Quietly satisfied.
Now you know dreams can come true. The grilled cheese toaster is a thing.
You drift off to sleep wondering, what dreams will come true next?