Everyone knows that distracted driving is the best type of driving!
If you added up all of the time you spent mindlessly driving, looking at stop signs, pedestrians, red lights, oncoming traffic, and all the other nonsense that being behind the wheel forces you to look at, you’d have a metric ton of useless time.
Thankfully, THERE IS A BETTER WAY.
Introducing: The iDrive. Drive Differently. Drive Distracted.
If you’ve ever said to yourself, “Man, I wish I was able to stare at a screen in-between the times I’m at work staring at a screen and at home staring at a screen,” the iDrive is for YOU.
With the iDrive, you’ll never have to look through a windshield again.
Here are just a few ways you might consider using the iDrive:
Affix it to your steering wheel and crank the volume up on a sweet binge-watch of the Golden Girls, Seasons 3-5. Think to yourself, “Gosh, I miss Dorothy. She was so endearing with her scowls! Oh, these old women are so precocious!” followed by the passing, though, “Did a pedestrian just walk into my car?”
Everybody loves the Bad News Bears movie. Fire up that bad boy on your tablet, settle in behind the wheel and enjoy! Maybe even consider having an adult beverage or three while you watch the movie from the comfort of the driver’s seat! Wait, are those red and blue flashing lights behind you?
There are so many fun games on tablets these days. Imagine playing Words with Friends during your commute! Need to cross-reference a dictionary before you enter a word? All good, grab one from the backseat. Maybe while you’re back there, you could take a quick nap too! Wait a second, was that a pothole in the road or did you run over a cat?
Sure, there are some ** MINOR ** inconveniences to driving while using the iDrive, but let’s be honest: the juice is worth the squeeze.
Keep feeding your brain with non-stop mindless entertainment every second of the day with iDrive.
The more you put in your brain, the less you have to think for yourself, and that’s the point of life. Right?
Disclaimer: The iDrive is a prank gift box. Unfortunately using the screen while driving isn’t a good idea. BUT, OH THE POSSIBILITIES! Putting your gift in this prank box can open up a lot of interesting comments. Maybe you find out the person you give the gift to has always wanted to watch movies and play games while they drive. Why is it important to know this? Because now you’re smart enough to NEVER, EVER, EVER drive with them again. Or at least if you do, maybe make sure you’re snugly tied down by a few seatbelts.