Awesome Gifts

Pillow fights first came into prominence in the royalty circle of Richard the Lionheart in 1189. Sure, you’re reading this like, “Yeah, dude, I know He was the son of Duke Robert of Normandy, also called ‘Robert the Devil’, and of Herlev (also known as Arlette), whose father, Fulbert,...
$19.99
the cigar glass
Oh, you’re a fancy gentleman, aren’t you?! Wonderful! What a wonderful existence it must be! You spend your mornings in a luxurious bathrobe, likely being given a world-class massage by a masseuse with a name like “Olfan” or “Laurencia.” You have a lovely breakfast of freshly cut cantaloupe, artisan...
$24.95
NASA has been very clear: “On July 20, 1969, Neil Armstrong was the first human to walk on the moon.” What NASA has conveniently omitted, in their account of moon landings and space exploration are the details surrounding the first non-human to walk on the moon. Thankfully, we have...
$189.00
electric hover shoes for adults
Look around. Right now. Look at what’s around you. Items. What’s exciting about that? Not much. Not much joy is derived from that picture on the wall. The seat you’re in. That piece of furniture over in the corner. Oh, and look at all that reading material over there....
$472.49
a luxurious shower room
Love spending money and also showering like royalty?  Well, you’re about to be pleasantly surprised by an item you likely had no idea existed, until this very moment. Introducing: The 2020 Manhattan Luxury Computerized Steam Power Shower Sauna with Jetted jacuzzi Whirlpool Massage Bathtub Spa with Bluetooth & TV....
$12,990.00
Although butts have been the asset of choice for what seems like centuries, lips have come in full force since Kylie Jenner debuted her new fillers a few years back and we haven’t been able to think about anything besides them since.  Everyone wants Plumper Lips! If you’ve been...
$19.99
...hold up, dude. Is it true that beast has a fifty dart drum, comes with 50 darts and is fully motorized? Even Commander Drillstein was reduced to tears of joy when he laid eyes upon the gorgeous CS-50.
$99.99
Let’s face it, you look awesome with cool sunglasses on. But sometimes, it’s not worth all the hassle to drive all the way to the ancient ruins known as “The Mall” to find a pair, priced $100 over the price of the item from the manufacturer themselves on their...
$15.98
hilarious card game
You probably think you’re the cock of the walk when you stroll into a party with your hilarious party games, don’t you? Well, bad news lil buck-a-roo: you have to kick it up a notch ASAP. We’re talking, taking it to the next level, where the next level is...
$33.47
You think your horticulture game is on fleek don’t you? Damn, son. You have a lot to learn. First of all, “on fleek” isn’t even something people say anymore. It was a thing for like three months back in 2016. Now you want us to take you seriously after...
beer slushy maker
Enjoy your favorite cold brew in a whole new way. A Beer Slushy Way. Keep your coolness factor of drinking a beer intact while still enjoying the refreshing frozen aspect of a margarita.  With this beer slushy maker, you can serve your brewski soft-serve style. No need to degrade your manhood...
$49.99
formula for unskrinking clothes
Have you ever tried to shrink an over-sized garment in the dryer and it came out looking like a sweater for a chihuahua? Or perhaps a favorite sweater ended up in there by mistake? We all mess up the wash every so often.  Or every day, but no judgment!...
$11.99
“Show me a person who does not like potato chips, and I will show you a loser.” – Former President Grover Cleveland OK – so there’s no actual, physical or verbal proof that the former President of the United States actually uttered those words. But can you imagine if...
virtual reality for dogs and cats
We live in the future. A world of boundless opportunity and endless possibility. A world, where anything can happen at a moment’s notice. An awesome world, where pets can live in a virtual world that caters to their every fancy. Welcome to Pet VR. Population: your pet. The Virtual...
Attention Citizens, We Repeat, Attention Great Citizens! We have an alert for an unusual sighting in the residential area you are currently residing in. There have been reports of a lion in your neighborhood. We repeat, there have been reports of a lion in the neighborhood....
$11.58
Your child is one of the sweetest, most delicate, lovely children that has ever graced the planet earth. Inside your home, they are kind, friendly, lovable. Outside your home? They are one of the raddest kids on the playground, in the neighborhood, in their school. Can you comprehend how...
$12.99
MEET SARGE, HOST OF COOL HIT NEW VIDEO GAME, EXTREME CHORES! SARGE IS GOING TO WALK YOU THROUGH WHAT IT TAKES TO BE AN ABSOLUTE BUTTOCKS KICKER IN THE WORLD OF CHORE LIFE, WHERE IT’S A TAKE NO PRISONERS LIFESTYLE FOLLOWED BY A TEN KNUCKLE SHUFFLE OF JABS TO...
Introducing: The 3d Edison LED Light Bulb Let’s go on a journey together into the mysteries of this 3d LED light bulb, shall we? A cosmic journey, where space and time are insignificant. Where nothing matters other than your deepest, innermost desires. You close your eyes. The lights of...
$14.99
Here’s the problem with the world today, my good friend. It’s boring and repetitive. Day in and day out, the same thing happens all the time. All we’re left with, as a tiny glimmer of hope is that something out of the blue will happen to jolt us from...
Meet Bill the Bull, the inflatable pool bull. Sure, that’s not his official name, but he is a bull without a doubt. This bull has been given the name Bill for a few reasons: Bill is a super sweet name that reminds us of a John Wayne era man’s...
$46.49
Look at you, living in some sort of “regular” house like you’re some king or something. Oh, our apologies, your majesty! Apparently, you like living in a “neighborhood.” Apparently, you think you need a “basement.” How weak we are that we think you could get by in life without...
$64,650
can-of-whoop-ass
A Can of Whoop-A**, You Ask? Who needs yet another cumbersome can of whoop-a**? You, that’s who, because this is no ordinary can of whoop-a**! Allow us to paint a picture for you. You’re out on the town, strutting your stuff, and you come across one of your many...
fun air gun toy
Mr. Zooka was the creator of one of the most ingenious contraptions ever made. The item he fashioned was able to take pure air, gather it all up into an invisible mass – and shoot that air back into the earth with a fantastic amount of energy behind it.
$19.50
cash money gun
The Rainmaker. The Awesome Cash Shooting, Gold Plated Electronic Gun. Let’s face it: you don’t get the respect you deserve. Sure, people think you’re super attractive, funny, powerful, charismatic and pretty much a flawless human being. You have a great smile, impeccable style and an air of confidence that...
$69.99
alternative method for dog drying
There’s a new way to keep your puppy fluffy. Wondering how everyone else keeps their puppy so cute and fluffy? Thanks to the advanced technology of air power, your furry little love ball of fluff can now experience a spa, in a wind-tunnel. Ever wanted to take your dog...
$49.95
Cut the crap, web surfer. We’re about to introduce you to the man who is going to change your life. A man who is so legendary, that you should bow down before him. The king of pranks. The prince of hilarity. The jester of good times. Ladies and gentleman,...
$14.99
Worried you might crash one day from using your phone while driving? Statistically, you should be. And legally, you shouldn’t be on your phone while driving. Jeez. But, you’re too cool for rules, so – an invention had to be made. Everyone hates the one jerk on their commute...
$14.99
It’s Raining. But, this time something is different. It feels right. It feels different. It’s like, magic or something. It’s the Hands-Free Umbrella. For the first time ever, you can have TWO FREE HANDS while it’s raining! But there are more benefits to it than just having two hands...
$13.99
For The First Time Ever, You Can Stare at a screen longer without worrying about the blue light causing headaches! Remember the future of the past? People were all going to be interconnected with gadgets and computers and screens… Everything was going to be all sleek and, like, super...
$41.08
Who is the life of the party? Is it the guy who brings all the beer, or the guy that cleans up the beer while dancing in his new house party mop shoes? What if I told you, you could be both those guys? You can be anything you...
$12.00
Remember when mall cops on electric scooters became a thing? Its like why walk when you can scooter? Well, get this! There is now a sea scooter, so why swim if you can scooter? As long as perusing the seas is not a full-time job, then we promise you...
center table cooler for drinks
Have you been looking for something to take your parties to the next level? Something that has everything you need in one place? Something that will make your friends overwhelmingly jealous? This coffee table and drink cooler combo can offer all of that and more, including a glimpse into...
$1299.00
novelty ceramic mug
We might as well admit the elephant in the room: coffee makes you poop. Coffee is both a laxative and a diuretic, which is a fancy way of saying you’ll need to use the bathroom one way or another. A coffee mug shouldn’t shy away from this fact and...
$12.99
keep condiments safe with the car condiment holder
It’s time to take the plunge. It’s time to get yourself an in-car sauce holder. Let’s be honest; your body is too far gone to have any real hope of getting back in shape. You’re never going to be the fittest person on the planet, and you’ll be damned...
bazooka water gun super soaker
Now you can balance your life-crippling soda addiction with a false sense of helping the environment! Don’t just throw that big plastic soda bottle away; use it as a high capacity water gun chamber. The Bazooka Water Gun holds more water (or tequila, if this is for a bachelor...
$13.49
translucent lock pick set
Everyone has that one ex that really just deserves hell for what they put you through. Before now, you had dreamed of breaking into their home and smashing everything to pieces. The gratification of seeing their prized possessions break into a million little pieces. That long-winded dream or yours...
$16.99
clue game game of thrones addition
Murder is a common theme in Game of Thrones. Just when you get attached or start sympathizing with a character…boom! They’ve been barbecued with wildfire or had their throat sliced end to end like a sacrificial goat. More than 30 characters died in the season six finale, and yet...
$34.57
video recording doorbell camera for homes
It’s common knowledge that people hate talking to each other, especially when it comes to encounters with strangers.  So when some unexpected person comes to ring your doorbell, you know it’s troubling. The internal battle you’re having. Braving your fears and answering the door to potentially be solicited by...
$199.00
two person double nester hammock
Float among the trees in this double nester hammock. We understand the desire to reconnect with nature. The earth is full of electric charge that our bodies evolved alongside with since the caveman days. But sleeping like a caveman on the hard rocky ground with bugs swarming around you...
personal-back-massage-machine
Give yourself a full body massage from the comfort of your own home. No more having to strip down in front of a fragile little massage woman to be greased up like a pig and pray she knows what she’s doing. This hook-shaped massager is designed to reach every...
$29.87
It’s Another Friday Night… …and you’re working the late shift at McDonald’s. Your feet are starting to ache, your head is starting to pound as the smell of french fries overwhelms your senses. And then you remember. In your locker in the back room, you have something that can...
fur pet bed hot dog design
How do you add an accent piece to your living room that says both “I love hot dogs and my dog, but I’m also super fun and quirky?” The Hot Dog Pet Bed, that’s how! Quirky, but comfortable for your dog The marks of your lovely little furry children...
$19.50
Make fire a part of you. Well, your arm at least. Take hold of one of the greatest, most powerful elements in the palm of your wrist, and unleash your wrath upon: Hot dogs Burgers Steak That bee that’s just waiting for the right moment, but first wants to...
$149.95
chihuahua-in-duck-dog-muzzle
Dogs are pretty freaking cute, but do you know what makes any dog even more adorable? A Costume. One Which Turns Your Dog Into A Duck! Let’s go over some of the benefits you and your fluffy friend will enjoy: Your dog will be quacking with joy until you...
Not Just a Box of Ladybugs, But a Box of 4,500 Ladybugs A box of ladybugs may seem like an insane thing to purchase anywhere, let alone online, and… it is! That’s why it’s perfect for you. You have spent too long in the shadows, lurking, waiting. You’ve sewn...
$17.99
What if you had a BS detector… What would you do with it? Where would you take it? The official BS Auto-Detection Button with A.I. capabilities listens to your voice, analyzes changes in tone, measures the level of humidity in the air to sense when you’re sweating (aka lying)...
Lord of the Rings Lego Set
“One Lego set to rule them all, One Lego set to find them, One Lego set to bring them all. and in the darkness bind them.” That’s right young hobbit lords, a lego set replicating HELM’S DEEP.  Act Fast! The Uruk-Hai Are Coming! If Aragorn is right, there are at least 10,000 Uruk-hais on their way...
$254.98
Do you wonder what the person you like is doing in their room? There is no need to wonder anymore when you can stuff this YI camera into any teddy bear. You can see it all, watch the person wake up, get dressed, pick their nose, and dream away...
$57.99
Rainbow Unicorn Head is the only way to enter a party, everything else you heard about being fashionably late or how cool it is to not dress in theme, is dead wrong. Rainbow Unicorn Head says, “I am here to party, dance, and f#%& s%$# up, not talk to...
$49.95
Let’s be real; fish are the easiest pet to take care of.  But sometimes, even throwing some food in their tank now and then can become a real hassle when you’re busy trying to take over the world.  Well, the robotic pet fish is the answer to your problem....
Your robotic lawn mower’s name is ROB; he is the perfect addition to your home and garden power tool needs. ROB likes to cut your grass by himself; no human interaction is needed. Humans are no longer required. ROB will take over; his sharp blades have a fetish for...
Hands-free phone viewing
Do you suffer from Millennial Elbow? It is often diagnosed by pain and stiffness in the elbow as a result of holding your phone in front of your face for hours at a time. While anyone can fall prey to this crippling condition, its victims are typically media-obsessed millennials...
skull head log on fire
Do you feel like your friends aren’t sure how committed you are to the death metal? Are you afraid people think you are joking when you mention human sacrifice? Do you wish your neighbors knew just how much you don’t want them near your backyard fire extravaganza slash piercing...
$49.95
Are you a big sports fan? Then you are probably well aware of the saying “seeing double” after a good parking lot tale-gate. You have downed a sufficient amount of beer and are having a great time with your buddies, but all the sudden you realize your seats are...
$35.99
prevent laundry mildew
You know you’ve reached true adulthood when you get excited about new accessories for your laundry room. Nothing gets you happier than a new fresh linen-scented fabric softener that was fifty-percent off. Until you get the Laundry Lasso, that is. Alliterative and boundlessly useful, the Laundry Lasso is a...
$14.99
Kids love to climb all over sore backs, but with this travel gear carrying around your baby is effortless. Are you a traveling parent? This piggyback rider is a must have to add to your backpacking gear collection. Become the next internet sensation with your cutie riding on your...
It is time to become Katy Perry in your new cloud-pool water floaty. How will you accessorize while floating in a cloud over the water at Miami Beach? Maybe a purple wig is in order, and don’t forget about the ice cream cone boobs. Women and men from all...
$42.99
This newly designed Tamagotchi is making a comeback in toys and games. The original electronic pet came out in 1977; now in 2018, you can add a cute pooping robot to your keychain! Your Tamagotchi is just like a real pet, it cries, and needs attention on a regular...
MyCozyCups I Before E Weird Mug is perfect to sip your tea in front of your English teacher, your always right grammar police friends, or that kid that throws out novelty sayings for no reason or relevance. The I before E weird mug is like drinking your comeback and...
This whale blanket is what every whale wants to see on the humans who pour millions of gallons of trash into their home every day. There’s no better way to watch blackfish then with the whale symbolically winning the battle of survival right on your couch. What better way...
$34.90
smoking-dry-ice-drink-stirrer-sticks
Take your upcoming party to the next level. Turn your cocktails into a specialty concoction with these dry ice drink stirrers.  Whether you use it for an unforgettable Instagram or making a drink to capture the eye of an onlooker,  you’re sure to impress with these. These stirring sticks are designed to...
$13.95
folding pocket knife
This Folding Pocket Samurai Knife is just the thing for the business samurai on the go. In today’s hustle and bustle world, where the once noble samurai have been forced into second, even third, jobs, it can be tough for a samurai to uphold the ancient code of honor...
$19.99
Up Your Detective Game with this Lie Detector Finally, you can get access to a genuine lie detector and take your unlicensed investigation business to the next level! Those idiots at the police academy have no idea what they are talking about. “Unstable state of mind, potential sociopathic tendencies,...
$19.99
hand-forged authentic viking axe
The Huns are attacking! Quick, get your ax! You don’t have one? What do you mean you don’t have an ax?? Well then, this hand-forged Viking ax is just the thing for you. What kind of Viking do you think you are, wandering about unarmed? Honestly, it’s like you don’t...
$149.99
hangover cure drink
The party doesn’t stop until the hangover kicks in. Then you’re stuck at home all day trying to recover from what feels like death.  The last thing you remember was the pounding music, lights flashing everywhere, and people are raging.  Now all you know is there’s some dried up pizza in...
$35.99
rolling with the homies
Watch Your Worries go up in Smoke Need a new stash of rolling papers? Grab these money rolling papers the next time you want to impress your friends and smoke your financial worries away. Nothing says “I’m broke and my own worst enemy” like burning Benjamins you could be...
flash-card-set-with-slang-terms
So here’s the tea. The youth have created a language of their own these days, and let’s be real; it’s hard to keep up.  The slang flash card set by Knock Knock makes decoding what the millennials and generation z are trying to say to you.  In this 50 card...
$10.35
smart-posture-trainer
I know your grandma is rolling over in her grave.  All those times she told you to sit up straight in your chair, and now you’re paying the price for not listening.  Boy, was that a mistake.  But honestly, no one likes a person with bad posture. Learn not to be such...
$169.91
A Regular Ballpoint Pen? That’s not Going to Cut it, My Friend. You are prepared for the zombie apocalypse, right? Right?? Of course, you are you forward-thinking genius. You are a tactical self-defense master. Your bunker is all stocked up; your go-bag is ready under your desk at work,...
$16.65
The Instant Path to Enlightenment To quote the infinitely wise and enlightened Hugh Jackman, “I love making a fool out of myself. I made my living as a clown at kids’ parties for about three years.” Classic Hugh, am I right? He also said, “Meditation is all about the...
airtight zipped bag
Picture this: you’re out on the boat, it’s a beautiful day, and there’s a light breeze. Suddenly, the wind picks up, dark clouds gather, and it starts to pour. Normally, you’d freak out and throw your bags into the hold to protect them from the rain. But, with a...
$299.99
gimmick rubber wine bottle stopper
Nothing reminds you that you’re no longer in college more than an unfinished bottle of wine. One of the first steps of adulthood is prioritizing your early morning meeting tomorrow over a second glass of Merlot. You might as well admit that wine makes you sleepy, grandma, and invest...
$13.97