Random

What Do You Do With Complaints? As the wise and wonderfully talented LL Cool J once remarked in the 1992 hit song “Mama Said Knock You Out,”: “Explosions are overpowering, and over the competition, I’m towering.” Imagine that — what a line. And you could live that life every single second of your life with […]

Every person who prides themselves on personal excellence swears by The Fart Neutralizer. Whether you’re a queen of a prominent country, the king of a small island, or a person in-between homes in a tiny town in North Dakota, you are likely aware of the urgency to make your farts less noticeable. Frankly, the only […]

How do you add an accent piece to your living room that says both “I love hot dogs and my dog, but I’m also super fun and quirky?” The Hot Dog Pet Bed, that’s how! Quirky, but comfortable for your dog The marks of your lovely little furry children are visible throughout the house. A […]

Getting angry is easy, but getting even instead of angry is hands-down the best option, always, in every situation. Let’s say your ex may have broken up with you on your birthday because, well, you thought that they were just cold-hearted meanies. Well, are you ready for the truth? The real reason? It is because […]

Imagine a world where you could go out in public and wear whatever you wanted. Denim jacket from 1978. No pants. A flip-flop made out of flamingo feathers. Now couple that with being able to act in any way you feel like. No worry about social norms or how you will be received by the […]

Grandmas are the legendary MVPs of any family.  They are an essential factor in any household.  They can cook, they can clean, they work as an in-house counselor and mediator of any fight that breaks out.  Sometimes, even a personal hitman if their cane is nearby.  Hands down, grandmas are the best. And let’s face […]

Listen up chubs, chocolate isn’t just for breakfast anymore. Now you can have it before breakfast, too. Hot damn! Are you still dreaming? Nope, this is as real as it gets.  Chocolate toothpaste actually exists And this tube of sweetness is so good you might just decide to start brushing a few hundred times a […]

Memoirs of bae Dear Potential Boyfriend – As a potential partner, I have amassed a list of demands that require your attention prior to us engaging in any sort of relationship. Please note my use of the word “demand.” The list below is not a vague representation of things I’d like. They are required certainties. […]

As you know, there are innumerable scary, horrific, smelly places on the planet. Abandoned prisons. Long lost asylums. Haunted houses… Though nothing is scarier than a place we have all come into contact with – a place so terrifying, so nightmare-inducing, so unspeakably grotesque that it’s almost impossible to believe that these locations are so prolific […]

Please take a moment to reflect on the wonderful prose from, classically trained popular music star of the 1980’s, Kendall “Rockwell” Gordy as he sang in his 1984 smash hit “Somebody’s Watching Me,”, “I always feel like…somebody’s watching me….whoa-oh-oh. I always feel like…somebody’s watching me…and I have no privacy…whoa-oh-oh!” Poor Rockwell. Why did he feel […]

The Grilled Cheese Toaster: everything you’ve ever wanted in a cheese and carbohydrate making concoction, all in one place!

If you still think the archaic “That Was Easy” button has any relevance in today’s world, you’ve got another thing coming, Mister (or Miss. Or Ms. Or Mrs. ). That thing you’ve got coming? The “NAILED IT” button. Designed in a micro laboratory in the heart of downtown Brooklyn, this is the absolute must-have button […]

Cat lovers will LOL at the geniusness of their furry, adorable feline friends with these insightful and curious poems from the minds of cat-pets.

Have you ever sat on the toilet and thought to yourself…“Whilst I am currently enjoying myself and this wonderful seat, I certainly wouldn’t mind some thunderous theme music to accompany my wonderful achievement of the moment!” Well, you aren’t alone. Because we most definitely have also. Welcome the amazing, incredible, unbelievable musical machine of your […]

What if you had a BS detector… What would you do with it? Where would you take it? The official BS Auto-Detection Button with A.I. capabilities listens to your voice, analyzes changes in tone, measures the level of humidity in the air to sense when you’re sweating (aka lying) and even has retina eye scanner […]

Let’s face it, you look awesome with cool sunglasses on. But sometimes, it’s not worth all the hassle to drive all the way to the ancient ruins known as “The Mall” to find a pair, priced $100 over the price of the item from the manufacturer themselves on their new website. So, how do you […]

Do you want people to look at you and think, “Wow they have their corgi obsessed life completely together.” Don’t give them a reason to doubt that by adding this corgi butt coin purse to your collection. Take your Corgi obsession to a whole new level Throw that spare change that we both know will […]

Thankfully the universe has heard our plea, and now, we can all live life fully. Fully charged, just like BB8 droid should be, he can follow you around & listen

Comforting and friendly, this lifelike puppy will keep anyone company, respond to your voice, and even retrieve you a keg of beer, should you ever require it

You’re not still using the voice you were born with are you? Yikes…Did you know that 99.999% of the world uses a synthesized voice? Wait a second. You’re that one person who isn’t using a voice synthesizer, aren’t you? Come on, you’re better than that. Since the dawn of the new century, scientists, naturalists, herbalists […]

WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF JERK THAT JUST HAS REGULAR PICKLES THAT DON’T YODLE? Man oh man, what an embarrassment you are. Look, we didn’t want to have to start off this way, but come on. You’re better than this. You’re better than some “average Joe” who is just skulking around with a regular […]

With cannabis everything all the rage these days, it’s rare to come across a cannabis scent product that has actually been in existence for well over 250 years. The year was 1783. It was early Spring, and Farmer Jedidiah “Cheech” Hamilton set forth to plow his fields. Hamilton was used to waking well before sunrise […]

HI, MY NAME IS PRISON MIKE. THEY CALL ME PRISON MIKE BECAUSE I’VE BEEN IN PRISON. AND MY NAME IS MIKE. You think it’s all fancy dances and handshakes in prison? Well let me tell you, buddy, it’s not. It’s not waking up leisurely at quarter past eight while a butler gives you a nice […]

So many massage hooks, so little time. Unfortunately, most of the hooks you and I are familiar with are the boring ones. 1. The Fishing Hook. Yeah, cool. You put it on a string and let it dangle in the water with an old worm on it. Gross, dude. Nobody wants that old worm, not […]

Imagine you love cats who for some reason or another cannot lick themselves – BUT ALSO ENJOY FRESH SCENTS. You’ve tousled and toiled for years. Working. Thinking. Theorizing. Guessing. Hoping. How could you merge your two loves into just one item? Before we get to the answer, let us tell you a short story. In […]