Random

Justice is served every time you play this robot vs. robot game – because there’s a winner. One winner.
Not some lame modern-day version of a winner, like, “Oh, you tried your best, here’s a high five and participation trophy!”

Every person who prides themselves on personal excellence swears by The Fart Neutralizer. Whether you’re a queen of a prominent country, the king of a small island, or a person in-between homes in a tiny town in North Dakota, you are likely aware of the urgency to make your farts less noticeable. Frankly, the only […]

Oh, you fancy huh? Well, Meet Mr. Moustachio, a fancy gentleman with the manliest mustaches of all time. Some might even say the fanciest. How fancy? This so and so has it all figured out. And by “all,” we, of course, mean “mustaches.” Moustachio is a curious case when it comes to the desire for […]

PASADENA, CALIFORNIA: July 2019 Pasadena Times Headline: BABY IN A TORTILLA BLANKET BURRITO PHOTOSHOOT CAUSES UPROAR WITH LOCAL COMMUNITY The reason? What a disaster. Who was the creator who would ever think you should put a baby in an actual burrito? And where in the world would they find a soft tortilla large enough to […]

Drive your friends and coworkers mad as you prank them with random mouse movements and type out random texts and phrases with the phantom keystroker!

Mr. Zooka was the creator of one of the most ingenious contraptions ever made. The item he fashioned was able to take pure air, gather it all up into an invisible mass – and shoot that air back into the earth with a fantastic amount of energy behind it.

No more worrying about “other people’s feelings” or “communicating effectively.” A real girlfriend is nothing but an annoyance. How many times do you have to sneak out to the garage to just get five minutes of peace and quiet?

Imagine if you could have a personal “hype-man” follow you around like you were a celebrity rapper. Somebody to follow you around all day every day just shouting about how great you are and giving you motivational quotes to keep you inspired. You wake up in the morning and hit the alarm… “Yo! My dude […]

I Declare a Thumb War We all know the saying: never bring a thumb to a hand war. Now you can dominate every thumb war with your very own tiny hand vinyl finger puppets. No longer will you have to sit there in shame, staring at your ridiculous digits that end in a stump. These […]

Love spending money and also showering in a luxury shower system like royalty?  Well, you’re about to be pleasantly surprised by an item you likely had no idea existed, until this very moment. Introducing: The 2020 Manhattan Luxury Shower System, the Computerized Steam Power Shower Sauna with Jetted jacuzzi Whirlpool Massage Bathtub Spa with Bluetooth […]

Never touch or pet your pets again! The Pet Petter is the perfect gift for the dog or cat lover. This automatic petting device has 4 different speeds

This is it, Morty! This is what the whole thing has been about Morty! My whole character arc. Every crazy caper. Every near-death experience. Mcdonald’s Szechuan sauce Morty! We searched the entire universe for these sweet little individually packaged sauces Morty, and here they were the whole time, right under our noses! Can you believe […]

Let us take a moment to tell you the story of Johnny “Reverse” Peephole. You may know Johnny for his wonderful invention: The reverse peephole But, do you know how the ingenious invention came to be? Indulge us for a moment as we take you through a brief, but a magical account of how it […]

Nothing is The Instant Path to Enlightenment To quote the infinitely wise and highly enlightened Hugh Jackman, “I love making a fool out of myself. I made my living as a clown at kids’ parties for about three years.” Classic Hugh, am I right? He also said, “Meditation is all about the pursuit of nothingness.” […]

Do you want people to look at you and think, “Wow they have their corgi obsessed life completely together.” Don’t give them a reason to doubt that by adding this corgi butt coin purse to your collection. Take your Corgi obsession to a whole new level Throw that spare change that we both know will […]

MEET SARGE, HOST OF COOL HIT NEW VIDEO GAME, EXTREME CHORES! SARGE IS GOING TO WALK YOU THROUGH WHAT IT TAKES TO BE AN ABSOLUTE BUTTOCKS KICKER IN THE WORLD OF CHORE LIFE, WHERE IT’S A TAKE NO PRISONERS LIFESTYLE FOLLOWED BY A TEN KNUCKLE SHUFFLE OF JABS TO THE FACE. CHORES GET NO MERCY […]

You’re a nerd. You know it, your mom knows it, even your Great Aunt Bernice knows it. Friggin’ Bernice. Always gossiping. We really dislike people who gossip. Always poking into other’s people’s business, making random generalizations about who they are, how they act and what they like. Look, we’ve got nothing personally against Bernice, but […]

Historically, there has always been major problems with flip-flops. They either flip or they flop. Here’s what is the worst about that: both words are terrible. No one uses “flip-flop” as a superlative. It’s not a good thing. No one is ever like, “Hey, man – good work out there today, you were really flip-flopping […]

Marvinious Ketchup Jr. was exceptionally proud of his tomato farm. In fact, he was so proud of his tomatoes, that he used them for everything. Yes, literally everything. Breakfast was a tomato sandwich. Two pieces of tomato with a tomato in the middle and some ketchup for dipping on the side. For lunch he’d have […]

Introducing the egg-citing Mr. Sneezy Egg Separator – the perfect tool for separating yolks from whites without all the sassy fuss and messy muss! With his big white nose and sneeze-inducing power, Mr. Sneezy is sure to make your breakfast prep a breeze. Simply crack your chicken’s egg into the top of his head, give […]

2020 is going to a magnificent year filled with technological marvels that were unimaginable just a decade ago. Thanks to the internet, and super fast wifi, our planet is now more connected than ever.  Futurists suggest that in just a few short years, we’ll have a global economy, location independent jobs, energy that is not […]

Time to take aim at your caffeine intake, buckaroo. We see you sitting there. Lifeless. Listless. Bored. So empty. No energy, no reason to even move your body. Ugh.  The good news is, this bad attitude of yours is fixable. This energy depletion is fillable. The time is now! Black Rifle Coffee drops will fill […]

Let’s Start With Why You Need The Rainmaker. The Awesome Cash Shooting, Gold Plated Electronic Gun. Let’s face it: you don’t get the respect you deserve. Sure, people think you’re super attractive, funny, powerful, charismatic and pretty much a flawless human being. You have a great smile, impeccable style and an air of confidence that surrounds […]

Even children are smart enough to know that robots are taking over the world. Between artificial intelligence, voice-activated everything and the future landscape of employment basically being taken over by lines of code, where can we turn for comfort? Who could possibly help our kids in such uncertain times? We’ll tell you who: this friggin’ […]

Every dog in the world knows the true secret of a wonderful life: drinking from a toilet bowl when no one is looking. “Not my dog!” you say while clutching your pearls in horror. Wrong. Every time you turn your back and think to yourself, “What a wonderfully trained pup I have. I could never […]