You are human, and like most humans, you’ve got two hands and five fingers on each hand. We, humans, tend to take those meaty slap factories for granted, and all the marvelous things they can do. Just think if you had hands for your hands for your hands! What’s better than a helping hand? 10 […]
What’s a Handy Hand, you ask? Oh buddy do you have a lot to discover. Imagine a hand, that’s like yours, but, it’s not – it’s a helping extension that does all
It goes without saying… There are numerous benefits to being passive-aggressive in your dealings with other people (also known as “simpletons”). The issue with simpletons is that they are far, far inferior to the brilliance that people like you bring to this planet. You’re a genius. You’re thoughtful, kind, compassionate. You deal with all situations properly and with […]
No more worrying about “other people’s feelings” or “communicating effectively.” A real girlfriend is nothing but an annoyance. How many times do you have to sneak out to the garage to just get five minutes of peace and quiet?
Love offering your guests tissues, but also wish those tissues could be delivered via the business end of a cat? Well, you’re in luck! This cat butt tissue holder is the product of your dreams! It does it all! It’s a cat It holds a box of tissues It delivers tissues out of the butt […]
Let’s face it, you look awesome with cool sunglasses on. But sometimes, it’s not worth all the hassle to drive all the way to the ancient ruins known as “The Mall” to find a pair, priced $100 over the price of the item from the manufacturer themselves on their new website. So, how do you […]
Imagine you love cats who for some reason or another cannot lick themselves – BUT ALSO ENJOY FRESH SCENTS. You’ve tousled and toiled for years. Working. Thinking. Theorizing. Guessing. Hoping. How could you merge your two loves into just one item? Before we get to the answer, let us tell you a short story. In […]
You’ve got all the riches, and the world knows it. You’re surrounded by wealth, luxury, and all the things the world envies. So, how do you ensure that you keep all the things you’ve worked so hard for in this life untouched by the mass of humanity that wants nothing more than to snatch up […]
Never risk going to the bathroom in the dark again. Never waste electricity. Introducing: The colorful, light-up toilet.
If there was one state in the United States of America that matters, we can all agree that it’s Florida. As a matter of fact, Florida is the breeding ground for a superior type of human being that is now finally gaining the global attention they so rightfully deserve. Enter: the Florida Man. The Florida […]
Nothing is The Instant Path to Enlightenment To quote the infinitely wise and highly enlightened Hugh Jackman, “I love making a fool out of myself. I made my living as a clown at kids’ parties for about three years.” Classic Hugh, am I right? He also said, “Meditation is all about the pursuit of nothingness.” […]
Many very intellectually advanced people in America have high praise for the wonderfully captivating and famous television star Captain Kangaroo. If you’re unfamiliar, first, let us welcome you out from underneath that gross old rock you’ve been living in. Let us refer to Wikipedia to catch you up on Mr. Kangaroo: “Captain Kangaroo was an […]
Your pets new favorite pastime. This unique contraption works for both dogs and cats, and, they love it! It’s kinda like giving kids an iPad… great to free up your time
The Cell Phone Jail: The world’s smallest jail cell for your overzealous cell phone usage is not quite what it seems. Imagine the jungles of Africa, 1981. Hot, dry, unexplored. American traveler Saxon Bingham enters the jungle alone. He discovers a tiny jail cell, empty in the middle of the jungle, surrounded by ancient bao-bao […]
What if you had a BS detector… What would you do with it? Where would you take it? The official BS Auto-Detection Button with A.I. capabilities listens to your voice, analyzes changes in tone, measures the level of humidity in the air to sense when you’re sweating (aka lying) and even has retina eye scanner […]
Just imagine your friend yelling at the printer or clapping in front of the TV like a dufus, losing it and ending up screaming in frustration!
You probably think you’re the cock of the walk when you stroll into a party with your hilarious party games, don’t you? Well, bad news lil buck-a-roo: you have to kick it up a notch ASAP. We’re talking, taking it to the next level, where the next level is so high up in the stratosphere […]
Your chicken deserves a proper walk. Dogs get to walk, and your chicken knows it. Treat your chicken to the chicken harness!
Looking to get cozy this winter? These Slippers can be warmed up in the microwave. They can also, if you should ever desire, even be placed in the freezer to cool down.
What would you do with fake wall outlet stickers? Maybe you’re the life of the party. You’re the person who everybody turns to for a good laugh. “You’re such a card!” they say. “You always make me laugh!” they remark. But what happens when you don’t have a crowd to make laugh? What happens when […]
With cannabis everything all the rage these days, it’s rare to come across a cannabis scent product that has actually been in existence for well over 250 years. The year was 1783. It was early Spring, and Farmer Jedidiah “Cheech” Hamilton set forth to plow his fields. Hamilton was used to waking well before sunrise […]
[POLICE RADIO ANNOUNCEMENT] Attention Citizens, We Repeat, Attention Great Citizens! We have an alert for an unusual sighting in the residential area you are currently residing in… There have been reports of a lion in your neighborhood. We repeat, there have been reports of a lion in the neighborhood. If you see this majestic creature, […]
While we’re on the subject of you: You’ve been a little passive aggressive lately, which is awesome, like me! Frankly, who doesn’t love passive-aggressive people? Life would be boring without you I guess. Don’t come right out and say what you’re feeling, EVER. Just dance around the topic like you’re some bootleg hip-hop dance from […]
Never touch or pet your pets again! The Pet Petter is the perfect gift for the dog or cat lover. This automatic petting device has 4 different speeds
Imagine this: It’s another wonderful Friday night… …and you’re working the late shift at McDonald’s Your feet are starting to ache, your head is starting to pound as the smell of french fries overwhelms your senses. And then it hits you, and you remember… In your locker in the back room, you have something that […]
