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The Year is 2037 The World Chip Organization has stepped into the spotlight and will be featured, for the first time ever, in the Olympic Games. The Challenge: Who can eat the most amount of snacks in just 30 minutes. The Bigger Challenge: How will the contestants stay reasonably clean and presentable during this strenuous […]


Once upon a time, in the leafy green heart of Crunchland, lived a whimsical cereal-loving wizard named Broccolius. Broccolius was no ordinary wizard; he was a guardian of greens, a vanquisher of vegetable vagrancy, and a hero of healthy habits. His heart throbbed with a desire to rid the world of its unhealthy cravings. He […]

This is it, Morty! This is what the whole thing has been about Morty! My whole character arc. Every crazy caper. Every near-death experience. Mcdonald’s Szechuan sauce Morty! We searched the entire universe for these sweet little individually packaged sauces Morty, and here they were the whole time, right under our noses! Can you believe […]

Looking for a way to freak out your friends and family? Look no further than BLK water – the goth kid of the beverage world. With its ominous black color, you’ll be sure to turn heads and make everyone wonder if you’re secretly a vampire. But don’t worry, there’s no need to fear the sun […]


Time to take aim at your caffeine intake, buckaroo. We see you sitting there. Lifeless. Listless. Bored. So empty. No energy, no reason to even move your body. Ugh.  The good news is, this bad attitude of yours is fixable. This energy depletion is fillable. The time is now! Black Rifle Coffee drops will fill […]


“Show me a person who does not like potato chips, and I will show you a loser.” – Former President Grover Cleveland OK – so there’s no actual, physical or verbal proof that the former President of the United States actually uttered those words. But can you imagine if he did? That would totally be […]

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You have a filthy mind, and we’re not even sure we’re going to continue with this product description until we make one thing clear. THIS BOOK IS NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK IT’S ABOUT. You think you’re so sneaky. Clicking on the image, the link, whatever. Your mind is racing. “Oh, my! There’s a book […]


Are you a billionaire with no idea how to spend your money? Have no worries; we are here to guide you in wielding your considerable newfound purchasing power. You don’t want all the other rich people laughing at you when you make your first purchase, and it’s something sensible and boring like paying off your […]


PASADENA, CALIFORNIA: July 2019 Pasadena Times Headline: BABY IN A TORTILLA BLANKET BURRITO PHOTOSHOOT CAUSES UPROAR WITH LOCAL COMMUNITY The reason? What a disaster. Who was the creator who would ever think you should put a baby in an actual burrito? And where in the world would they find a soft tortilla large enough to […]

Do you love your microwave as much as you love your partner? Well, we know you love your friends. Plus, You love puppies, nature, the ocean. And you even love the sun, the moon, the stars. It’s so hard to love everything so much, isn’t it? It would bring a damn tear to the eye […]


Did you know… That in order to poop like the champion you really are, you should be eating a trillion grams of fiber every day? Though this statement is not true at all, it does make you think, doesn’t it? You may be thinking such questions as: What would a trillion grams of fiber look […]

You say, fine sir, is that a cigar whiskey glass you hold in those powerful hands of yours? You’re a mighty fancy gentleman, aren’t you?! Wonderful! What a wonderful existence it must be! You spend your mornings in a luxurious bathrobe, likely being given a world-class massage by a masseuse with a name like “Olfan” […]


How much do you love beef jerky? How much does your significant other love beef jerky? If the answer to both of these questions is in fact; yes, then this is the bouquet of your dreams. There is no greater declaration of your love of smoked meat, and your awesomeness than, a bouquet of (finally) […]

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You’ve been drinking all your drinks wrong, your whole life. It’s time to take your upcoming party, or simply your next drink to the next level. It’s time to turn your cocktails into a specialty concoction with these ultra-fancy dry ice drink stirrers Whether you use it for an unforgettable Instagram or making a drink to […]


Roll up to the party like, “ANYONE WANT A TASTE OF MY BACON SODA?” Utter such a phrase and the party guests will immediately turn into putty in your fingers. Mold them, dear friend. Mold them to love you. To appreciate you. To turn the party into the most epic of all epicness. You can […]


Listen up chubs, chocolate isn’t just for breakfast anymore. Now you can have it before breakfast, too. Hot damn! Are you still dreaming? Nope, this is as real as it gets.  Chocolate toothpaste actually exists And this tube of sweetness is so good you might just decide to start brushing a few hundred times a […]